According to dictionary.com, “emo” is a type of music, but also a person who enjoys such music. This person can be characterized as someone who is “overly sensitive and full of angst or adopts a certain style characterized by dyed black hair, tight t-shirts and jeans, etc.”

Seems to me they pretty much hit it on the head. Give or take a few things.

My last couple of years of high school, I was an emo kid. My best friend and I looked and acted the part--going to shows, hanging out with scene kids, discovering a badass new style of dress. Reflecting on this time in my life, I have come to realize that it helped me to understand a great deal about the world around me. And I'm a better person because of it. Here is some of the knowledge I gained in those years:

1. Flailing limbs are scarier than you'd think.

Sometimes the most interesting and terrifying part of concerts, for me, is standing right on the edge of the ring of people, watching the moshers in the middle. It's a way of being that you don't really see in any other environment. You have people of all shapes and sizes and genders (but, in my experience, mostly overweight, white men in their mid-20s) just letting go. Taking all of the pent up stuff inside that doesn't feel so good, feeling the thrash of the heavy music, and mixing that up into a beautiful, wild, sometimes comical-looking flail. There are literally arms and legs and bodies flying everywhere at what seems like 100 miles per hour. And people are so lost in themselves that there is about a 75 percent chance of you getting punched in the face. And it's really scary and ridiculous and unforgettable.

2. The combination of bald head and long beard is simultaneously confusing and enticing.

I see so many dudes sporting this look (above is Joel Quartuccio of Being As An Ocean) at every concert I go to. And IT'S SO HARD FOR ME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR FACE EVEN LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE THIS GOIN' ON BUT IT'S ALSO LIKE SURPRISINGLY VERY HOT. Ahem. That's all I have to say about that.

3. Applying winged eyeliner is a really complex skill.

The first eye usually turns out pretty close to perfection.

When it comes to doing eye number two to look identical to eye number one...

...meltdowns are kind of inevitable.

4. People are kind.

The environment at emo/punk/metal shows is very intense. People are there to listen to music, to bang their heads, to mosh, to be angry, for cathartic purposes, etc. But the general energy is, I would say, hardcore, angry fun. So, it kind of seems like a place where people might tend to be jerks to one another, right? Well, sometimes, yes. Something that always really stands out to me about these concerts, though, is that when someone gets knocked down while moshing, or a crowd surfer sticks a painful landing, people around always stop everything they're doing to make sure that this person is OK and to help them up. This is probably my favorite part about this scene, because, at least for me, it was really unexpected the first few times I saw it happen. But it has happened every time I have seen someone fall, without fail. Emo kids and people who go to metal shows and engage in this kind of intense lifestyle are not bad people by any means--quite the opposite in fact.

5. If you go to concerts and sit in a chair in an assigned area the entire time, you're doing it wrong.

There's not much more to say about this. If assigned seating is all you can afford at a big-name concert, that's understandable. But maybe you're going to the wrong types of shows! Ditch the expensive concert and get a $5 general admission ticket to a show at a local venue. The experience is wildly different.

6. Goodwill is the place to shop.

This might not pertain to everyone's emo kid experience, but it was a big part of mine. Goodwill and Salvation Army are the bees knees, for real. Whether you're looking for a good, comfy flannel, a retro logo tee, or some spiffy new shoes. SHOP HERE!!!

7. This genre does not get nearly enough credit.

Tiger's Jaw, Brand New, and Neck Deep are just three of the many bands that shaped my emo kid experience. Obviously, there are some metal and punk bands that are just, like, really really bad. But it seems to me that the genre is only known by the general public for the worst it has to offer. There are so many good bands out there! I would encourage you to check out the metal/punk/emo bands of today, if you haven't already.

8. "Skins" is a kick-ass TV show.

Also a detail that might not coincide with others' emo kid experience. But, I discovered "Skins," concerting, and eyeliner at around the same time, and it was the perfect emo recipe. This show (the UK version specifically) is just so good. It's one of those things that's hard to explain to people because there's too much to say and I feel too strongly about it to even put it into words. But, anyway y'all, if you're ever feeling emo, watch this show. It's really beautiful. (But don't let the excessive romanticism of drug use in it sway you into doing drugs please.)

9. There's no better feeling than having an unspoken bond with strangers.

Back to the concert scene. So. You're in a room with hundreds of people whose names you don't know, and whose faces you can only half-make out in the dark. In the back of the room are the people standing around, talking, holding drinks, seemingly aloof to the eardrum-blasting live music happening in front of them. In the middle of the room is the ring of people I explained towards the beginning of the article. The ring of people are tightly compacted, usually head banging, but not moving that much. Inside the ring of people is the mosh pit, which we've already visited (flailing bodies). Finally, in the front of the room, closest to the stage, is the push pit. This is where I usually reside because a) it's a lot less scary than moshing, and b) because it's the area closest to the performers, so there's a lot of energy here. As its name suggests, the push pit is full of pushing. Friendly, yet sometimes extremely intense, pushing. Everyone is being pushed and everyone is pushing, by throwing their bodies from side to side. Some people are very serious push-pitters, some people are busy yelling all of the words to the song being played, and some (like me) are laughing for most of their time in the push pit (because it's like, really fun). No one talks about this stuff. It's just a thing, and people have a mutual understanding of how it works and what the limits are. And we're all either standing, flailing, pushing, head banging, or soaring above the crowd--all experiencing this amazing live performance. People are sweating. People are yelling. People are exploding with emotion. It is the loudest, yet most preciously intimate experience in the world.

10. Some people are emo kids for life. Some are not.

So, I was an emo kid. I've finally been able to admit to myself and to my best friend, recently, that I'm not anymore. Partly because I don't want to be, partly because I can't pull it off. It's a period in my life that I wouldn't trade for anything, and I really wanted it to be who I was, because it was so cool. But, I know now, it's not who I am. Some people are destined to be cool as heck and emo until the day they die. And some (me) are just really big musical theater nerds who don't have the energy for that. And both are super cool and super OK!

11. I look pretty damn good in black.

\m/

Thank you, Emo Kid Taylor, for allowing me to discover this insane new world. Thank you for letting me yell my heart out in a hot, dark room pressed against 100 strangers for hours. Thank you for letting me experience the crisp joy of walking outside after a show, ears ringing, voice gone, and looking into the eyes of my best friend--knowing we just shared something remarkable.