Trust me, we exist.
Health and WellnessFeb 13, 2018
10 Struggles Every Introverted Extrovert Understands
You are not alone!
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Trust me, we exist.
I'm sure, like me, many of you received lots of gift cards over the holidays. After working retail seasonally, here are a few tips that I learned in order to make the employees at your favorite store just a little happier and not want to charge you extra on your purchase for being awful. Here are some times when you should be nicer to retail workers than you actually are!
Believe it or not, retail workers have more to do than just help customers. They have to fold tables, scan things into inventory, clean up sections, make sure everything is in the right place in the store, manage returns...you get the picture. So be grateful when an employee asks you if you need help finding anything, and reallybe grateful if they actually help you find it!
Yes, they know the store is a mess. Yes, they are trying to work on it. No, they don't want you to complain about it. It's a never-ending job, and they are doing their best!
There is nothing more irritating than screaming children tearing up and down aisles and knocking things off of shelves and racks, so please, be grateful that retail workers don't lose their minds over it, and don't complain to them that the store is a mess!
Sorry, but I don't particularly care much if your Great Aunt Mary gave you that coupon and it's expired because your brother Charlie had a doctor's appointment and your kid Michelle had a soccer game so you couldn't make it to the store to go shopping in time. I can't do anything about it, I'm sorry about that.
They know, not everyone wants one. It's OK. But they have to ask. You don't have to be mean about it! A simple "no, thank you" works just fine.
Yes, I know you're irritated about it, but I can't help it if a tag was torn off of something and you have to wait a hot minute for someone to leave what they are doing, most likely walk across the store in search of your item, and then actually find it and bring it to me to scan. And I can't help that our register system has certain restrictions that only managers can access for what you want me to do (like take your expired coupons!).
All in all, I know some things about shopping are frustrating, but please remember, we understand too, and we have been on the other side of it. So I leave you with this lovely quote to remember the next time you are shopping:
"Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind." — Henry James
I'm the Short Friend. I've been the Short Friend since about the seventh grade. I'm the one who stands in the front of the photos, gets made fun of for their height, and still shops in the kids department.
This article is not for the Almost Short Friends, i.e. the 5'3" and 5'4" Friends. No no, this is for the Actually Short Friends, i.e. the Barely Scraping 5'1" and shorter Short Friends.
Overslept and didn't get a chance to put on makeup? Or just didn't feel like it? Or, you're not wearing makeup and you're wearing a plain shorts and t-shirt combo?
Yeah, good luck passing for your age.
The only time I was ever carded when ordering alcohol in Spain, where the legal drinking age is 18, and I am a 20 year old 5' gal, was when I filled in my eyebrows, wore a baseball cap, a pair of leggings and a t-shirt. The waitress asked for my ID and I was almost offended, because no one is carded in Spain unless they look like they're teetering the line of 15 or 16. I get it, I'm short, but I had bought alcohol at the grocery store in less makeup and no one batted an eye.
However, getting carded until you're 30-something is a common practice in the US, so I can't say this example applies to everyone ordering alcohol, but some people will question whether you're old enough to drive or work if you have a bare face.
I don't understand this. I don't walk up to girls with big boobs and ask them for their bra size, nor do I walk up to guys with small feet and ask what size shoes they wear. Again, I get it, I'm short, but it's not that big of a deal to me, so it shouldn't be a big deal to you. Chances are, you're taller than me, so why do you really need to know my exact height?
Seriously, you get so used to looking up at people! And then you meet a fellow Short Friend or a 12 year old and think, "Wow, this is how average height people live."
I wind up being face-to-chest with most of my friends, so hugging them ends up with either me going for the side hug or trying to climb them like they're a tree so I don't have to smush my face into their boobs and/or get my makeup all over their shirt. Does anyone else think about this?! It's just an awkward scenario, in my opinion, but it's why I almost always try to be the one wrapping my arms around the other person's neck when I go in for a hug--that way they have to bend down so my head can look over their shoulder.
Life hack, yo.
Jeans are sold at most places in four lengths. Short, regular, long, and extra long.
Yes, tall girls often struggle to find clothes/pants long enough for their legs, and I get that, and understand why extra long lengths are a thing and should be a thing. But why doesn't anyone sell extra short, huh?
Now, you non-Short Friends reading this might just think, "Can't you just cuff/hem your pants?" I'm glad you asked. Not all pants can be cuffed and not all pants need to be cuffed and sometimes you just don't want to have to cuff/hem EVERY SINGLE PAIR OF PANTS YOU OWN!?
And, you're also probably thinking, "What's an extra inch of fabric really doing for you? It's not that big of a deal!"
HA!
Wrong!
Those short jeans you see in the stores? You know them? Yeah?
Well, they're usually about 4-5" too long for my little legs, still. And no, that's not because I'm buying, for example, a size 12 short, which in theory would have a fairly long inseam due to the larger waist size. Nope. I wear a 0 or a 2, which is generally the smallest size in length and waist. If that small size is still too long for me, imagine what a bigger Short Friend deals with when they buy jeans! It's madness, I tell you! Madness!
Short girls also have the option of buying clothes from the petite section, yet most stores that even have a petite section only cater to elderly petite women. Short consumers aren't all elderly! C'mon, man! I want cute clothes that fit!
Myers/Briggs personalty types are a common psychological assessment that has gone mainstream in recent years and most people know theirs.
If you don’t, check it out
Most people have heard of the INFJ stereotypes, and how they’re so “rare“ and “misunderstood”. Well I’m here to tell you 12 truths about the INFJ That they might not be too keen to share with you. Are INFJ’s really the rare bird they’re cracked up to be? Take a look at these 12 truths and see how many you identify with.
INFJ's do not change their mind often. Call it thick headed, they call it calculated. They spend countless debates and years of tiring research developing these morals. Furthermore, they aren't willing to commit to a moral until they know when it was first created and every human who has ever taken this view and what it was applied to. (I exaggerate, but hardly). They are open to learning new things but just expect that change in an INFJ could take years.
Okay, I said it. They like experiencing what it means to be a good 'ol normal human with the occasional issue. They like waking up on a winter morning and having a sniffle and putting on three layers of clothes and eating nothing but soup all day. If it doesn't last twenty-four hours its disappointing, but if it lasts up to forty-eight it's now ruining their lives and they vow to themselves to never forget how awful being sick is.
Making friends as an INFJ is an exhausting process. First, they must sort through every person in the room and absorb as much information about them as possible. Being an INFJ in a new group of people is like one sided speed dating. Okay, so in this room say they meet one potential friend. The conversation is going well, they can imagine hanging out. But, then there's the fear of if they could be an INFJ approved, "Real Friend". This will take approximately six months of daily interactions where they give this person all their extra emotional energy so they can deeply process and categorize each word that is said. If the person has kept their attention and you have kept theirs in this time, it's a match made in heaven! As you can imagine, there's no time to get to know anyone else in this period.
No, they're not always the fierce out-spoken leaders. Actually, 9/10 times they won't say a peep. They live life on the rule of, "please don't embarrass yourself more than you already do on accident". This means that if there is any change that someone in the room knows more on the topic than them, leadership is a no-no. Watch them turn into a meek little lamb in seconds. On the other-hand, let one person utter a phrase out of ignorance and watch the infamous side of the INFJ sprout its wings. Misinformation will not happen on their watch, no Sir. They will take lead and sail this ship to safety with their well researched knowledge!
We know! They're a little too interested in your life. A little too quick to complement your shirt. They've told you they hope you have a wonderful day, every day since you met. Let's just clear things up once and for all- it's not fake. They're people lovers. It's actually embarassing, but they can admit, they’ve tried to force themselves not to like certain people, and it doesn’t work. They’re a classic example of seeing the best in everyone. The more time you spend with someone, the more they just grow on ‘em.
I know, this one is weird to all of you permanently creative types. But, they can go months or even years with no creative content flowing. Sometimes they get the idea for an art piece and it comes out looking like it came straight off Pinterest! Well other times it’s not quite clear what their stick figure was supposed to be of. This applies to writing, debate, problem-solving, games, and pretty much anything that requires a little bit of that imagination sparkle. Sometimes it’s just gone.
No one can get down for a movie about the tragic story of a teenager fighting depression and dealing with a broken family like an INFJ. They live for it. Oh, those make you feel sick? Them too. However, it’s like the unspoken duty of the INFJ to seek out this painful content to further their understanding of people and what makes them tick. How will they remembered to help if it didn’t make them cry or have nightmares? -The INFJ motto my friend.
Yeah, yeah. We know what you mean by you worked hard and have been up since 5 AM, but trust me it’s different. When an INFJ openly admits that they’re tired, they don’t mean sleepy. They mean drained. They mean whatever they did today burned up all of their social skills as an introvert, all of their emotional energy, and they just can’t do it any longer. It’s best to let an INFJ sleep at this point. If you push them one minute past this they might have a meltdown about their deep-seated efforts to save the world and how they haven’t come to fruition yet. And trust us, you don’t want that.
They hate change. I know, funny joke because their “the advocate“ personality type. Maybe this does make them hypocrites, who knows. They need to prepare. You can’t last minute change their plans. They already researched it and mentally rehearsed it 10 times. There is no change! They don’t like last-minute plans. They don’t like moving. They don’t like unexpected people over. They don’t like being woken up at the wrong time. They don’t like the unexpected, okah? Yes, they will be the parent to require at least a two day heads up for a play date or they’ll have a panic attack.
They cry, a lot. But, fear not, they aren’t public cryers. They cry in the comfort of their room, or in extreme situations they’ll cry in front of a family member or INFJ approved “Real Friend“. They cry when they’re misunderstood because honestly that’s they’re biggest fear. They cry when they hurt someone’s feelings because that so goes against everything that an INFJ stands for. Yes, they want change but never through being hurtful. They cry when people hurt their feelings, because they want the respect they give others. And sometimes they cry because their brain won’t turn off and they can’t stop thinking about everything awful they’ve ever been exposed to. That one hurts.
I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced being loved by and I NFJ, but it’s intense. And it’s definitely not for everyone. INFJ’s obsess over everything you do. You have a passion? Don’t worry, they will research the history of it and watch documentaries on it every night for a week. You had a bad day? They’ll use talk therapy and try to convince you to stay up late talking about your childhood and how that affected your day at work today. If an INFJ loves you, you’ve been admitted for a lifetime pass to their inner circle. Don’t worry, they never let anyone leave! INFJ’s don’t let go of those they love easily, actually, I suppose that’s a downside of the personality type because sometimes it’s hard to let go of toxic relationships with the constant INFJ need to “fix“ things.
“Safety first! Did you eat lunch yet? Don’t talk about yourself like that. I’m so proud of you! That was out of line. Go change your clothes. Reword that, please.” These are all words you will hear come out of your INFJ friend’s mouth. They can’t help it! They’re impulsively nurturing. If they don’t nurture you they’ll have to spend their day at the animal shelter or in a children’s hospital. Although it might be annoying, and your INFJ friend rarely cuts loose and stops worrying, just take it as a complement. The fact that they are spending their time thinking about ways to keep you safe and healthy amid trying to save the world must mean you’re worth it!
Hopefully these cleared some of these stereotypes up and made the INFJ personality type out for what it actually is: just another person. Do you know someone who sounds like this? Share with them! You might have an odd duck in your pond.
You tried your best to avoid it, but that one statistics class that you need to take in order to graduate was only offered at 9 AM. Sound familiar? Now it's a daily struggle to make it on time, but everyone has those days where they just...don't. If that sounds relatable, then you may have experienced some (or all) of these thoughts.
Whether you hit snooze a few too many times, slept straight through your alarm, or just completely forgot to set it last night, you definitely woke up later than you should have, and you can feel the panic begin to set in.
Going to class late always involves a cost-benefit analysis. Within a matter of seconds, your sleepy mind weighs the pros and cons of rushing to class late versus cutting your losses and going back to sleep. How late are you going to be? If you're missing more than half of the class, why bother? But fashionably late is excusable, right?
It definitely felt comfortable when you went to bed last night. But now, you could swear it's like the arctic tundra in here. It was hard enough to leave your warm, cozy bed without the threat of hypothermia when your feet hit the floor.
You realize that this is the third time this week that you've been late to your 9 AM. Will you get points taken off if you miss class today? Or is your professor the type that will count you as absent if you're not there the minute that class starts? The temptation to skip is getting stronger, but you will do anything to save your grade.
Picking out clothes, getting dressed...it all takes so much time, and every second counts when you're already running late.
The situation is dire, and you need to prioritize. Can you spare the time for a quick brush? Will you be talking to other humans in this class? If you're really in a rush, then gum will have to work until after class.
...you realize with a pang of dread. Is there time to finish? If it's reading, you promise yourself you'll skim it later. If it just needs to be printed, you hurriedly turn on the printer and pray it doesn't jam or run out of ink. If it's half-done (or less), you hope to goodness that the fact that you're there at all will make up for it.
The climate here is so unpredictable! Do you need your winter coat? Your rain boots? Your umbrella? Or will it be sunny and warm enough to make you sweaty by lunchtime? Hopefully you have time to wait for your weather app's forecast to load; otherwise, you decide to wing it and hope for the best.
Odds are it won't be. Don't wait for it. Just don't.
You gently ease the door closed behind you so it doesn't make an earth-shattering slamming sound that alerts everyone to your tardiness. You decide to leave your coat on to avoid making a scene of unzipping it and taking it off.
Because why would any of these selfish jerks make the logical, polite choice to sit in the middle and leave space on the aisle for latecomers? Seriously, these people who show up on time should really learn some manners!
They must think you don't care about this class. They must wonder why you don't prioritize their lectures enough to manage your time better in the mornings. Isn't learning more valuable than sleep? Repentant for your repeated failures, you silently berate yourself for disappointing them again, not realizing that they probably completely understand and don't give your occasional tardiness a second thought.
You silently vow to be early to every lecture for the rest of the semester so you can sit in the front and demonstrate your dedication to your professor and prove you're not the lazy idiot you think they think you are (even if you did hit snooze ten times this morning).
This semester I started my journey as a member of my University's Alumni Outreach Team. This means a lot of things, but primarily it means that I get to make phone calls to parents and alumni two nights a week to update contact information, collect things like business cards and volunteer hours, and even ask for money.
Like most jobs, it has its perks and its downfalls, but working in a call center is truly something you can't understand until you've done it. Here are some things call center workers know better than anyone else.
I was so nervous for the first call I ever made and everyone told me not to worry--it would probably go to voicemail, but of course, they answered and I was an awkward bumbling mess.
I don't know if people think this takes them off a spam caller's list or something, but answering the phone and not saying anything kind of means we're going to keep calling you...forever.
I haven't run into this myself yet, but sometimes you call a number and ask for someone and the only answer you get is "They passed away." I can assure you I will have no idea what to say the first time this happens to me.
There's no way to explain it. You can come into the calling center fully rested and an hour in it will feel like you've been there for 18 years without a nap.
"Hi my name is Nikki calling from Susquehanna Uni--"
*click*
"Now isn't a good time. I'm at the gym training for a marathon, my husband's cousins son-in-law has cancer, we just bought a new house, and student loans, am I right?"
I've heard literally everything on people's voicemails while calling. Keep in mind that people actually hear the messages you record.
I can't leave you a message so you know to continue ignoring my calls if you don't clean out your voicemail every now and then.
And some people get really offended when you mess it up.
I've had nights where every person who answered the phone seemed thoroughly offended that I was calling them.
Shout out to all the parents and alumni who sympathize, answer the phone, and have nice conversations even if they don't have money to give. A nice conversation can turn our entire night around. Kindness goes such a long way.
Songs About Being 17
Grey's Anatomy Quotes
Vine Quotes
4 Leaf Clover
Self Respect
1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society
2. Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook
3. Kristen Haddox, Penn State University
4. Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook
5. Clare Regelbrugge, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign