We all have that one untouchable, impossibly perfect, celebrity specimen that we have called eternal dibs on if every given the chance to meet them, date them, have all kinds of sex with them, marry them whatever. Only the best of us have been down this road one too many times - the road of having a celebrity crush.
Stage 1: The Discovery
You have discovered your celebrity gem. In this moment, you don't know how far this one discovery will take you. You're so young, so naive.
Stage 2: The Repertoire Review
You watch every movie, every TV show, every guest appearance, every interview, and you still don't fine them repulsive.
Stage 3: The Scuba Dive
You are now committed to diving deep into the dark abyss of the internet to discover every little detail of your celebrity crush - everything from their blood type, to their favorite subject in grade school, their biggest pet peeve, and more.
Stage 4: The Investment
Your bank account dies, and your wallet's thickness dwindles as you reason with yourself that you need all of the merchandise featuring the face of you golden crush.
Stage 5: The Fantasy
You dream of the perfect life with this magical, horribly glorified creature. You imagine romantic dates, falling madly in love, dramatic and passionate fights, finding the most beautiful house, having the most beautiful family, and growing old together. You know, othing major.
Stage 6: The Second Guess
But then you start to doubt yourself and your crush. "How can one person be so flawless? How could we make such a mesmerizing, envy-invoking couple?" You lose faith in your practically impossible dreams.
Stage 7: The Reassurance, Revival, and Resurrection
But then...they surprise you! Whether it be with a new album release, a ground-breaking movie, a massive and spontaneous donation to charity. Whatever it be, you are hooked once again!
Stage 8: His or Her Hiatus, Your Subsequent Identity Crisis
Suddenly, they leave you. They're probably doing great things, but they left you. They left you!
Stage 9: Your Hiatus
You tell yourself you deserve better, so you leave them. Because that will really affect the celebrity that was no idea of your existence.
Stage 10: The Return and Reunion
Then - after you've made countless excuses to not binge-watch their entire TV series - you're desperate for your celebrity crush to return. And guess what? He or she does! The heavens sing out, and all the world is at peace!
Stage 11: The "To Be Continued..."
It is beautiful that you two have reconnected, but you then remember that your near miss of an obsession has been revived. For better or for worse? Who knows? But keep crushing like the hormonal teenage you are! Never say never, and never stop dreaming!
