After coaching summer camps and city parks and recreation teams for the last few years, I've realized a few things are tried and true. It doesn't matter if you coach kids because your coach made you or you needed the volunteer hours or you genuinely like small children, if you've ever coached little kids, you've experienced these 11 things.
1. Where did you go?!
There's a moment of pure panic when you look around, frown, count children, and realize one of them has run off. Fortunately, they're almost always over getting a drink of water or have slipped off to the bathroom and never returned from the last water break.
Recommended for you
2. NO! Get back here!
They run away in the middle of a game and you have no idea where they're going or if they'll come back, but you can't just abandon the other six kids watching you, expecting you to impart sports wisdom to them. Fortunately, as stated above, they're almost always going to get water from mom or dad and they'll come back eventually
3. "Coach, can we get some water?"
There's always that one kid that says, "I don't need any water," when you give them a water break and then two minutes later, asks if they can go get a drink.
4. No personal space.
One minute you're trying to convince your pupils that dribbling is a valuable lesson, and the next, a small child is clinging to your leg or hip, pudgy fingers digging into your flesh with a manic smile on their face. And then they all pile on and the next thing you know, you're going down praying you don't land on one of them.
5. "Did you bring us water?"
They expect you to be their second parent. You're an adult, so obviously you have everything sorted out and obviously you should have known to bring water for six little children who will deny they're thirsty and then beg for water (see number three).
6. When they just sit down...
They're worse than the dog that stops in the middle of your run. One minute, they're running around being just as crazy as every other kid. The next, they're sitting on the ground, in the way, about to get kicked in the face.
7. The ball hog...
There's always one, and part of you just wants to say, "Screw it, Lord of the Flies, have at it!" and the other part realizes that it might be your job to enforce the importance of sharing.
8. When they ignore you...
Either you can't get through to them, they're being purposefully obstinate, or they're just one of those children. But you can't yell or use your firm voice because their parent is hovering 20 yards away and you are, in fact, a child to many adults and you do not want to be accused of being mean to little kids, even if they are being little devils.
9. The one that is always injured.
"Coach, I'm starting to sweat. I need to sit down." Now, mind you, this child has 75 percent of professional soccer down to a T — holding their knee when the only thing that could possibly be hurt is their ankle — but it's extremely frustrating when they would rather sit on the sidelines until you're ready to scrimmage and then, miraculously, they're all better.
10. The distractions.
One minute you have everyone's attention, and the next they've discovered a gopher hole and are now arguing who gets to stand in it. Heaven forbid there be any cute wildlife nearby.
11. The moments that make you smile.
When they work together, even if it's only for a few shining moments. When they all fall in a pile laughing and the shy one that never talks is laughing the loudest. Coaching kids may be hard and thankless, but it is worth it and that's why every year when summer rolls around, you find yourself on the field with a herd of screaming kids with a smile on your face.
