We all have that one friend. When someone asks, "What's ________ like?" you have to sit down and think about what you've done in life to get stuck with them. This friend is the reason you can't sleep at night and why you're getting anxiety attacks all the time. It's not you, its them. Signs that you have a friend that has no chill include:
1. You always end up getting hurt.
This "friend" you have is a whirlwind of mayhem. Anywhere, anytime, they always put you at risk. A nice evening jog? Broken nose. How about a pleasant Sunday drive? Thrown out of the car. Before making a friend that has no chill, make sure you have good health insurance, you're gonna need it.
2. The Last Minute Plans are Real:
All the plans you have made for the day are thrown out the window when your friend announces they'll be over in a few. Sure, you've been friends with them forever, so this is expected, but you were really looking forward to that bubble bath you planned at 6. Now you have to endure with the wild misadventures your friend is going to put you through.
3. They NEVER forget the little things:
"Remember the time you forgot to say happy birthday to me on Facebook!?" "Wasn't that like five years ago?" "IT WAS SEVEN!!!" These friends, although they have no talent for planning, have a superhuman memory. They remember every adventure, every trolly moment, and every mistake you made. If you forget one of these dates or events, pray to whatever God or Fate you believe in, cause you will NOT hear the end of it.
4. You are apparently their therapist:
With a friend like this, you are appointed the role as their therapist and shoulder to cry on. All relationship, career, and social questions are pointed your way, any place and any time. Never leave your phone off, cause at any moment, they are going to have a epiphany that they need you to help with. You will be given the hard task of answering questions such as "Will Brad ever come back?" "Should I leave my ok job for a chance at a better job?" and "Why do I have to wear clothes in a drive through?"
5. They are more into your relationship than you are:
If you are seeing someone and also have a friend with no chill, GOOD LUCK. You and your significant other all of the sudden become your friend's main source of entertainment. They will do everything and anything to connect with your significant other and are always ready to dish out their relationship advise. And if your significant other is around while your friend is, it will be their mission from God to become besties with him/her.
6. You will have no control over anything:
This friend always assumes themselves as the leader. They always have to have the last say on what's playing on the radio, where to eat, and even who else to hang out with. Unfortunately, whenever you are around this friend, you must assume your positions as their "b*tch."
7. They act weird in general:
From eating bread with a glucose intolerance, to still calling cows "Moo-Moos," you sometimes need to take a step back and say "damn, this person's weird AF!" They do things that the normal people do not do, and constantly stand out in a crowd. If they ever come to you saying "So I wrestled this old lady today," you will just nod your head, not being surprised in the slightest.
8. No one else will not notice their insanity:
From People on the streets to your own parents, people will think, "wow, what a nice, upstanding citizen. I'm glad that you are friends with ________!" Little do they know that your friend is the reincarnation of the Devil himself. These people will never be able to see the amount of pain and anxiety they put you through. The only solace you can find is either yourself, or another friend in your friend group who understands the pain that comes with being friends with that person who has no chill.
9. Their sense of humor is questionable:
For some strange reason, this friend has a skewed understanding of comedy. It could be something little, like laughing at words like "thingy, "duty," or "soup." It could also so messed up that they show you a graphic video of someone breaking their arm on purpose. It makes no sense, but, being friends with this person, are your really surprised?
10. They are not afraid to ask the big questions:
Leave it to this friend to ask the most uncomfortable questions in a nonchalant way. Some examples include "Why do still date that person?" "Why do you still work there if you hate it?" "Do you think that kid we knew in 8th grade ever got arrested?" "Is your cousin single?" It's now up to you to have them sit down so you can answer all their absurd questions that they generate in that great big mind of theirs.
11. They are always going to remain your closest friends:
Despite the pain and headaches this friend causes, they will always be your best friend. They care about you unconditionally and only want the best for you. They love having a good time, and just want you to stop worrying and enjoy it with them. Everyone always asks why your are friends with this nutcase, but you know that it is because of the very same reasons that are on this list. So, to my friends with no chill, thank you for being you, cause no one is a friend quite like a friend without chill!
