Sorority season is upon us! So gather up your favorite sundress, red Solo cup, American Country Awards Spotify playlist and philanthropic spirit and head to the races! You might be thinking, "Should I rush Zeta Tau or Delta Psi?" Or, alternatively, "What if my dress is more of a puce color but everyone else is going for more of a hot pink tone?"
But, dear readers, what most of you are probably thinking is the exact same thought I was before I made the best decision of my life and rushed Alpha Gamma Kappa: Is Greek life even for me?
The following list of 11 signs will help all of you undecided gals out there to make the most important decision of your lives.
You belong in a sorority if...
1. You see Brad Paisley. He is buttoned Brad, not unbuttoned Brad.
2. You like this guy...
... but NOT this guy:
3. You are fairly certain Africa is a country.
Fairly certain. It's alright not to be sure.
4. You meet up with your friend, Gregolo. He suggests that you rush.
Sometimes Gregolo says his name is Gretolo! Silly Gregolo!
5. You examine the goat without it examining you.
If there's no eye contact, you're golden. Greek life has chosen you.
6. Your favorite death metal band is Party Cannon.
7. You prefer gnome to Noam, and you're not afraid to show it.
8. You're OK with this recruiter...
... But NOT this recruiter:
Nope. Not even once.
9. Your favorite philanthropist is Phil Collins.
Phil! Phil! Phil! Phil!
10. You recognize the artistic excellence of Tupac Shakur, and appreciate that his mom was Afeni Shakur, a former Black Panther.
The Black radical tradition continues, in full force.
11. You count your quarters. You can pay the dues.
Can't spell "quarter" without "star!"
