The world is full of people being productive: you know, making something of their lives, achieving stuff, acting like the things you do actually matter. And then there are potatoes, those beautiful things that don't know what is happening around them.Kind of like me. Being a potato isn't just a list of personality traits, oh no. It's so much more. It's a lifestyle, one only a few can be a part of. Mostly because everyone else is too busy changing the world actually being successful or something.
1. You are an unnecessarily complex carbohydrate
You can go from loving something to throwing it away in the trash and never using it again
2. You can be easily crushed like mashed potato
But there's no shame in being super emotional …. It takes courage to stay soft in this cruel, cruel, world.
3. There are so many things you can do with your life, but you won’t
Spoiler alert: you actually end up just being a potato
4. You light up the world
Literally.
5. You’re selfies all look like this
Every time that camera faces you, you scream. LOUDLY
6. You have a lot of curves
Like every side of you is basically a circle.
7. You can stay in the same place for a veeerrry long time
because let's be honest: the world isn't worth getting up for
8. Your version of working out is a slow jog to death occasionally interrupted by sleep
It's also dangerous for you. And that's totally why you don't work out. Like, totally.
9. When your jam plays, there’s no stopping you
It's mostly you just jiggling your fat on the bed, but still.
10. You can have so many moods
There’s no telling what kind of potato you will be today
11. You are simply a beautiful gift to the world
Humanity is lucky to have you and there is no denying that
