Dating in the 21st century is probably not all that you imagined it would be as a kid. If you're anything like me, you spent your teenage years watching movies like "The Notebook" and "Love Actually." You probably had high expectations for falling in love in your early twenties. And chances are, you're probably incredibly disappointed. Dating is not like it is in the movies nor is it anything like it was just a few decades ago. Dating in 2016 is beyond frustrating because it's so easy to stray from the person you're with. With all the dating apps and all the promiscuous people on social media just trying to get their hands on your boyfriend, it's hard to maintain a relationship these days. Here are eleven signs that you shouldn't trust the boy you're with...and he's not worth your time.
1. He goes all day without talking to you
I get being busy. I work two jobs, go to school full-time, write at least one article a week, manage a band and sometimes even try to get some sleep. So yes, I get being busy. But if I find time to keep in contact with my friends and family, you can send a couple of texts a day. Say hi. Let me know how your day is going. Tell me you love me. But if you give me some lame-o excuse that you were too busy to text me AT ALL in a day - that's bull and we both know it. You mean to tell me you had absolutely NO time to text me? You didn't sit down to relax at all? Or take a poop? If you wanted to talk to me - you'd make time to talk to me. I don't have the patience for crappy excuses.
2. "I didn't get your text."
It's possible you didn't get my text message - it's absolutely possible. Sometimes texts just don't go through. But chances are, you're lying. And it's a terrible excuse. If he uses this excuse more than once in the entire time you know him - he's not into you. At all. He didn't even have the courtesy to come up with a more reasonable excuse.
3. He won't put your relationship on Facebook
We live in the age of technology. I hate it. But I'm a bartender, I'm a writer, and I'm a musician. Social media is virtually my life. All I do is advertise. As much as I dislike the fact that social media is such a big part of my life - it's a thing. Social media is how I make money. Because I have such a large audience, I like to make sure EVERYBODY knows that I'm dating, and completely in love with someone. My boyfriend's face is plastered all over my Facebook page so no other dude thinks he can swoop in and give me the time of day. Some people aren't like this. Some people just have close friends and family on their Facebook page. So why wouldn't he want to post his relationship on Facebook? Wouldn't he want his family to know about you?
It may seem small and insignificant - but we both know that it's not. If you're not on his Facebook, he probably doesn't want people to know about you. If there's a reason that you both have discussed (psycho exes, psycho family members etc.) then it's absolutely understandable but if he's active on social media and refuses to post you on his account - he's hiding you from his other girlfriend and you need to leave him.
4. He won't like your posts - but he likes everyone else's.
You literally had to scroll past my photos to like the post from that girl you met once at a party in 2010 - adios, amigo. You're obviously hiding me from someone so I'm going to go find someone who wants to show me off.
5. He won't take photos with you
Some people just don't like photos but if you guys have been "talking" for months and you don't have a single photo together - he's hiding you from his wife and you should probably leave.
6. He wants all of your passwords but won't give you his
"I just don't feel comfortable giving you my password." Okay... then why should I give you mine? I don't expect you to give me your passwords nor do I want you to. I can't remember my own, I don't want to have to remember yours too. I have nothing to hide so I will leave my phone unlocked and you can go through whatever you want. I'm not interesting whatsoever so enjoy.
If he wants your passwords but won't give you his - he's probably just a manipulative d-bag that's going to destroy your life so please, please run away as fast as you can.
7. None of his friends know you or know about you
... but all of your friends know about him. He might have even met them and maybe even some of your family. But you don't know his friends. Every time he's going to introduce you to his friends, something comes up. Magically. Every. Single. Time.
He is hiding you.
Get away from this loser.
8. He keeps his messages secret - but looks over your shoulder at yours
I don't delete my messages. You can scroll back into my Facebook messages can scroll back to 2008. So if you want to go all the way back into my horrific scene phase back in 08'... go ahead. If he's looking over your shoulder while you're writing to your mother but freaks out when you glance at his phone when he's typing; what do you think is going on? If he can't take phone calls in front of you, runs outside when the phone rings, spends an hour in the bathroom at a time on his phone... chances are he's letting his other girlfriend know he's just "hanging out with the guys" or his "phone is dying" so he won't be able to talk much longer... just so he can make you feel like you have his undivided attention for the night.
9. All of his "best friends" are female
I'm not saying don't have female friends. I don't care. But when your entire Facebook friends list is of the female variety, I'm going to get a little suspicious. When you have a new female "best friend" every couple of weeks, it's going to raise a few questions. I know what women are capable of, please remember that I am one of them. If you won't introduce me to your female "best friends" - then you're probably screwing around on all of us and we should all get together and beat you up.
10. His phone is going off at all hours of the night
If you're going to cheat on me - at least put your phone on silent. I don't want to hear your other girlfriend calling you at all hours of the night wanting to know if you're coming home. There's no reason anyone's phone should be ringing at three in the morning unless someone is dying.
Ring ring ring - get out of my house.
11. You blatantly tell him that you know he's lying about something
I saved the best for last. My best friend recently found her boyfriend's Plenty of Fish (POF) account. We spent two days trying to figure out how she was going to confront him about it. If you're not looking for anyone other than the person you're with, why do you have a POF account? Anyway, she eventually just takes his phone and goes "wow what is this" and pulls up HIS POF account with HIS name and HIS photos on it and he looks her dead in the eye and goes... "That's not me."
She caught him red-handed and he continued to deny it. Who does that?
If he lies to you, you shouldn't trust him. If he lies to you even after you tell him you know that he's lying - leave him. He's not intelligent enough to date.
Boys who lie are not worth your time. If he hurts you, leave him. If he seems interested in other women, leave him. If he makes you feel insecure, leave him. If he creates double-standards, leave him. If he makes you feel anything less than equal to him, run away as fast as you can, screaming as loudly as possible. You deserve someone who is going to show you off and be completely honest about everything with you, even things that are going to hurt. Be with someone who treats you like a queen and hold on to them as tightly as possible; there aren't many faithful people out there in 2016.
