I seem like a pretty okay student. My fellow classmates rarely notice any outstanding flaws in my work (except for that semester I never showed up to class — thanks, mono) and I'm usually a leader in class discussions. However, my fatal academic flaw is sneaky, brutal, and absolutely stressful: procrastination.
However, my projects always end up turned in and I always receive pretty good grades. I always do my best, even in a limited time frame. My group project partners may notice me up late in the Google Doc the night before the project is due, reworking and fixing things. I just want everything to be perfect, but I'm also terrified of beginning with a blank page.
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This, my friends, is perfectionism at its finest (read: worst). When you pair perfectionism with an overwhelming fear of failure, what do you get? That's right, an overachieving procrastinator.
If you've ever felt that you're not simply lazy, but a beast made up of bad habits more complex than lack of motivation, read on. Here are 11 signs that you may be an overachieving procrastinator.
1. You know great study tips, but you can't apply them.
Clean desk? Check. White noise machine? Check. No distractions? Check. Still somehow distracting yourself by staring at the wall and pondering the meaning of life? ... Check.
2. Your main motivation is a fear of failure.
Some people are motivated by the "completed" notification from Moodle or the chance of having some time to relax. Some are motivated by a party this upcoming weekend or the relief of having homework off their To-Do list. Nope! Not you! Somehow scrolling endlessly is way more satisfactory than furthering your education every. single. time.
3. You procrastinate by doing other productive things.
One time, I sat down at 11 am on a Sunday to start an essay and ended my day 12 hours later with the cleanest room, desk, kitchen, closet, and fish tank ever. Yep.
4. You keep great lists and planners, but you never seem to follow them correctly.
My lists are wild, my planners are color coded, but when the time comes to get stuff done, where are they? How can I manage to put "Take Shower" on a list for easy satisfaction and end up procrastinating on that, too?
5. You hate jokes about procrastination.
Seeing one more meme about "Procrastinator's Meeting, Rescheduled For Tomorrow" on Facebook will make you absolutely lose your mind. Mostly because you're seeing that stupid meme while procrastinating and probably feel called out a little bit.
9. Your work always gets done, and it gets done pretty well.
Here's the key: this is where the not lazy part comes in. You want to do well. In fact, you want it to all be perfect. The essay or project or whatever it may be always gets done, usually even by the deadline! You're just so afraid of starting that it isn't until it's two hours before it's due that you finally close Snapchat and rush to start what you should have started a week ago.
10. Your productivity power hour starts at, like, 11 pm.
Your body starts to give up on you before your worried little brain will. When you finally realize your need for sleep won't be met until the wee hours of the morning, you decide to get cracking. Sometimes this ends well, sometimes it ends with a faulty promise that you'll just wake up early tomorrow and do it.
11. Your study playlist is 38 different versions of "The Final Countdown"
Including Glee. True story, my big has this playlist. If you don't yet, here it is.
I think we're all just doing our best. Sometimes, my best involves a lot of unintentional self-torture and countless wasted hours of my life. But hey, that's what happens when you're good at wasting time and bad at facing your fears. And you're wimpy enough to be afraid of doing poorly on homework.
