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Politics and Activism

11 Reasons To Vote Vermin Supreme 2016

"You've Done Worse, and You Know It"

Alex Schick

Jun 13, 2016

Dartmouth College

25694

The Slot

Who are you voting for in November? Many people aren't thrilled with the major party candidates this year, but thankfully, there are other options. One passionate activist and candidate, Vermin Supreme, has been running for President since 2004 and he has some very unique views. If you are having trouble supporting the lesser of two evils, here's why Vermin Supreme may be the candidate for you.

1. His incredible and distinct fashion sense

Want a change from the traditional image of the President? Vermin Supreme's signature boot hat is like nothing this country has seen before.

2. A free pony for every American

Vermin Supreme's pony policy is a job creation program that will help combat lack of public transportation and climate change by reducing fossil fuel consumption. And who doesn't want a free pony?

3. Mandatory toothbrushing laws

Ever talked to someone with bad breath? Not on President Supreme's watch!

4. Zombie apocalypse awareness

Not only will Supreme make sure the U.S. is prepared for the zombie apocalypse, he will harness zombie power using the latest in hamster-wheel technology.

5. Federally funded time travel research

Vermin Supreme is the only candidate who "will go back in time and kill baby Hitler before he’s even born."

6. Monkey tooth fairies

Supreme has mentioned his idea of genetically engineering a race of winged monkeys to act as tooth fairies.

7. His honesty

Vermin Supreme is a self-proclaimed "friendly fascist" with a refreshing honesty. Supreme says he is a politician who will lie and "promise your electorate heart anything you desire" because he has no reason not to. Hey, at least he's willing to admit it.

8. He's multitalented

Mr. Supreme's closing statement at a 2012 Democratic party debate in New Hampshire including an original song about himself set to the tune of the chicken dance.

9. He glitter-bombed politician Randall Terry who opposed same-sex marriage during a party debate

He actually threw glitter on him during a Democratic party debate. Enough said.

10. He's dedicated

Supreme has been running in local, state and national elections since the 1980s!

11. Why not?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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11 Reasons To Vote Vermin Supreme 2016

"You've Done Worse, and You Know It"

1. His incredible and distinct fashion sense

2. A free pony for every American

3. Mandatory toothbrushing laws

4. Zombie apocalypse awareness

5. Federally funded time travel research

6. Monkey tooth fairies

7. His honesty

8. He's multitalented

9. He glitter-bombed politician Randall Terry who opposed same-sex marriage during a party debate

10. He's dedicated

11. Why not?

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#EnglishMajorProbs

You are basically a zombie with a pencil.

You receive confused looks from others when you name drop an author/literary terminology.

You wear your suffering as a badge.

You proofread every text and social media post you write.

You cringe when you read a non-English major's paper,

You could spend all day in a library.

"The Office" is a mockumentary based on everyday office life featuring love triangles, silly pranks and everything in between. It can get pretty crazy for just an average day at the office.

The good old days are always happening now, so live in the moment.

“Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica” are the three most important topics one can talk about.

The Dundies are cooler than the Oscars.

Everybody has a Toby, and they are just someone you have to learn to deal with.

Group pictures are hard to take (especially jumping pics).

It's never too early to eat ice cream.

Schrute’s are always prepared for anything.

Except pop culture references...

Holidays are important and a very good reason to host any kind of party.

There will always be cynical co-workers to deal with.

Putting things in Jell-O is a great use of your time.

Sometimes funny voices and personas make awkward situations easier (just ask Prison Mike).

That places you may not always love can bring you the people you love.

Determination is an important characteristic to possess.

Sarcasm is essential in everyday life.

Love can be really weird.

At Halloween time, it is trivial to come with your best costume ready.

Friendship is long lasting no matter where the future takes you.

Pranks are funny no matter the age.

Goodbyes are hard, but reunions are worth it.

Blogs are confusing.

"That's what she said" jokes will never get old.

Jim Halpert can say so much with just a look at the camera.

Bros should always come before hoes because...

Declaring bankruptcy isn't as hard as we all thought.

Office places can be weird and stressful at times.

Michael Scott loves Dunder Mifflin and the Scranton Office more than anything.

"The Office" truly does have a lot that it can teach us.

Ah, pre-med: home of the dead at heart.

1. You have forsaken all your friends for coffee.

2. 8 hours of sleep? Try 4 instead.

3. Everyone asks you for medical advice, even though you’re not a doctor yet.

4. Your second home is the library.

5. Almost all of your nightmares are about school and exams.

6. You don’t see the problem with taking 3 technicals in one semester.

7. Research, research, research, research, research.

8. You volunteer more than any of your friends.

9. You like going to labs more than going to lecture.

10. But, you know it’ll all be worth the struggle the day you don that white coat and call yourself a doctor.

Books were always about understanding for me, about learning the way someone else sees, about connection.

A book by the name of "The Stranger."

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