After reading fellow Odyssey creator Elizabeth Muratore's article offering up 11 possible replacements for Teresa Sullivan as President of the University, I was appalled that my name hasn't been thrown out there as a viable candidate.

As a result, I'm officially declaring my intention to run and be considered for the position, and I've offered 11 captivating reasons why I'm the best person for the job.

1. I'm fairly punctual

2. I tend to work hard

3. I value teamwork

4. My biggest flaw is that I'm a perfectionist

5. I'm a problem solver

6. I am always knowledgeable and well-prepared

7. My hands aren't that small

8. I'm sort of a jack of all trades

9. I already have a personal mascot with basically the same name as me

10. I generally mild mannered

11. I've written for The Odyssey, so I know how to deal with the press

Odds I'm chosen are probably slim, however. Whatever, we all know it's rigged.