Students at Florida State University are no strangers to the word "hate." And why should we be? The Nole Life isn't for everyone, in fact, it probably isn't for anyone. If you're the kind of person that likes to have a good time while you get your education on, then do yourself a favor and get out of town.
If any of the following statements apply to you then don't even bother showing your fun loving, multiple friend having, most likely attractive, face around these parts.
1. You hate winning.
Are you used to being 'almost good enough' all the time? Are you sick and tired of the added pressures that come with trying to be the best at everything constantly? Then don't come to FSU. Winning runs deep in the blood of the tribe. Whether it's National Championships, Heisman trophies, a game of bp, or just life, in general, Seminoles don't lose. Trophies are too heavy for you anyway.
2. Outdoors? Nah.
With beaches, rivers, lakes, and springs all within a reasonably short drive away, everyone will constantly be trying to convince you to take day trips outdoors. Aint nobody got time for that. Stick to what you know best – stay inside, close the curtains, and stay far, far away from Tallahassee.
3. The girls are hideous.
Clearly.
4. “Who goes out on a Tuesday?”
Noles do… and Monday, and Wednesday, and you might as well assume that Thursday through Saturday are givens. It’s utter madness. The sicko life isn’t for you, and that’s okay, just keep your head down and get out of dodge before someone forces a y-bomb down your throat.
5. Concerts are overrated.
Way too many artists make their way to Tallahassee, bringing roofs down and melting faces in their wake. Do you want your face melted?! Yeah, didn’t think so. You can’t just spend your nights tearing up dance floors, potentially damaging your delicate eardrums every week, sometimes even multiple times per week (preposterous, I know).
6. The food is awful.
Where do you go to get a good bite to eat in this town AMIRIGHT? With places like Harry’s and 101 bringing in local seafood basically from the water to your plate, it’s all just way too fresh for your liking. You don’t want to find yourself post-hh singlehandedly plowing your way through a Buffalo Chicken Pizza in one sitting. And what kind of sick freak would want to dive face first into a pool of Gordos sauce? Your palate doesn’t need refining, it’s just as mediocre as everything else in your life, and that’s just fine.
7. Parties? Meh.
FSU parties are usually pretty small, kind of dull, and filled with mostly dudes.
8. The students can’t be that smart.
With 67% of students boasting a GPA of over 3.75, 24% with a 3.5 or higher, and only 9% having less than a 3.25 (via Princeton Review) they must all be dull as doorknobs at FSU.
9. Tradition isn't your thing.
You’re unimpressed by the echoes of the Warchant and the sight of 82,000 hands chopping in the air. Chief Osceola riding in on Renegade and throwing his spear being voted the #1 tradition in college football must be a fluke.
10. The bars are half-decent.
Who wants to be handed free drinks by their friends behind the bar? It’s unscrupulous, it’s immoral. The only thing you love more than waiting in lines is ordering waters.
11. The campus isn’t all that special.
If you believe any of the claims mentioned above... you are erroneous, erroneous on all counts.
Roll Tribe.
