Eighth grade. Oh, the glorious middle school years. This was the year I sprouted up heightwise and never really stopped. My height continued to escalate, while, on the other hand, my self-esteem in its entirety plummeted. People will tell you, "Oh my gosh, you don't know it, but you are so blessed to be so tall! You don't even know it." (If we've heard it once, we've heard it a thousand other times. Eye roll.) Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you what I do know and why I hate having the struggle of being a tall female.
1. "Do you play basketball?"
Among one of the most dreaded questions and assumptions for us non-athletic females that lack any coordination. No, I do not play basketball. No, I do not want to be having this conversation.
2. "Have fun finding a boyfriend who's taller than you. How awkward would it be to date a dude who's shorter than you?"
Yo. I'm not a skyscraper. I'm only 6' and the least intimidating person to ever exist. It's not an impossibility to find a man who is taller, if not at least my height. And for your information, my dude is 6'1" so back off, haters!
3. Showers at friend's houses, school, other family members' homes (basically anywhere other than your own home) are pretty much an impossibility.
Bending over backwards until your back snaps in half to complete the simple task of washing the shampoo out of your hair is only one of the extremes that us tall girls have to go to. 10/10 recommend dry shampoo for this exact purpose. I am for real, Ms. Jackson.
4. Being able make eye contact with the incoming traffic in public bathrooms when standing in a closed door stall.
Umm, idk about you guys, but I am a firm believer that no one should ever have to go through the experience of looking into the soul of someone walking into the bathroom just as you are about to do your business. Can I get some "amens?"
5. Clothes. Enough said.
Pants are ALWAYS too short. It's like a parade of tall women that are sporting a constant capri outing. (Spoiler alert, those pants that are size "Long" lie straight to your beautiful face. They most definitely are not long, in the least.) Sleeves are never long enough, and shirts can't seem to have enough length in the torso. I honestly just want to be dressed decently because remember fam, #modestishottest. But, I swear the clothing industry is out to shoot that idea down and burn it to the ground because they barely provide enough clothing to sufficiently dress us tall ladies. You will not prevail, clothing industry, you will not!
6. The general statement of "You're tall."
Wow, hey thanks, bud!! I literally had no idea. I am so glad you made me super self-conscious about something I didn't even know was a thing. Thank you for stating that you could see me from really, really far away because I am so tall and that's the only way you know how to identify me. Thank you for telling me I am "all legs" and not making me feel like crap about myself. Y'all are the real MVP's.
7. The weather is literally the same as it is "down there."
No, the oxygen is not thinner "up here" and yes, the weather is exactly what you are feeling, too. Goodness gracious. I have no words.
8. Tall, yet still afraid of heights. So, heels are a no-go.
Flats are always a preferred method and my go-to, simply because I am afraid of heights. I mean, it's already a long ways down and I don't know a few more inches added to that if I were to face plant, ya feel? (Let's not get too happy with height, here.) However, if you aren't afraid of heights, you go rock those heels! No matter what anyone tells you, girl!
9. Hugging goodbye (or hugging hello, or any kind of hugging, really.)
Oh dear goodness, these are always so, so, so awkward. It's like, here I am engulfing you with my love, towering over you and you are buried somewhere but I could be possibly suffocating you so I will just awkwardly bend over super uncomfortably to ease the situation, but yup, there it is: a perpetuating circle of awkwardness.
10. Being stoked for old age to lose a couple inches in height.
Heck yeah!! I am totally going to rock it as an older women because yes, losing a few inches will only make, oh I don't know, MY ENTIRE LIFE. And you can bet your bottom dollar when that happens, a paper will be documented and framed as proof.
11. Never being able to experience your feet not hitting the ground when you sit in a chair.
If we were being entirely honest here, one of the greatest little reasons to rejoice is when you sit in a chair and your feet don't actually touch the floor and just hang in the air. I can't explain it, other than just know that it is indeed a (not so) tiny victory for us vertically-blessed ladies.
So, there you have it, folks! For those of you who aren't tall females, keep in mind that it isn't exactly a confidence booster to make comments regarding our height all of the time. To my tall ladies, you're a gem and you keeping workin' it. And know that are other women out there who are on the same struggle bus as yourself. Deuces, my fellow tall ladies.
