Ah, "New Girl." That blessed TV show that manages to combine Zooey Deschanel's signature brand of quirky, some witty and off-the-wall humor, a phenomenal cast and a dash of existential dread and self-loathing to create a delicious concoction of a show, one that has a very special and fixed space in my heart. If you've never had the pleasure of marathoning the shenanigans of Jess, Nick, Winston, Schmidt, Cece and (for a couple of seasons) Coach, I highly recommend you give it a watch. You can find the first four seasons on Netflix for your streaming pleasure. Every character on that show makes me laugh and root for them, but the one who I relate to the most has to be Nick Miller, the grumpy, self-loathing, loyal and sweet man-child/bartender who wants to be a writer...but doesn't want to write. After a couple of seasons, I realized that Nick Miller actually is the soul of the average English major personified, and so, for your viewing pleasure are eleven of the best Nick Miller quotes that perfectly sum up what it's like to be an English major in a variety of situations that will speak to your very heart and soul.
1. When you're writing a Lit paper and you have a killer thesis but almost no good sources to back it up with.
I'll just use a lot of fancy words and then maybe my professor won't notice I couldn't find anyone who agrees with my interpretation.
2. When your family and friends ask you, "Soooo, what are you actually going to do with that degree?"
Don't you question my journey.
3. And when they continue to ask you exactly how you're going to make money after college with an English degree.
4. When your professor asks you why you didn't do the 150 pages of required reading.
What do you expect from me? Miracles?
5. When people ask you what you're working on right now.
"Yeah, I'm thinking about self-publishing somewhere down the road..."
6. When you have a 10 page paper due tomorrow that you haven't started and you've spent the whole day on Tumblr and Netflix instead of doing work.
Looks like another all nighter is in the cards...
7. When it's nearing finals week and you realize how many pages and pages of papers and stories you have to write.
Or alternatively, coffee. Gallons of it.
8. When you fantasize about the day you'll actually get paid for your writing and what you'll do when you're that wealthy.
Someday I won't have to surreptitiously check my bank account before making ever purchase and that will mean I'm a success.
9. When you decide to have a day all to yourself to focus on your writing and end up wasting all that time instead.
It's part of my creative process, guys!
10. When you friend asks you to edit their work and give notes and you're not sure if you're making it better or worse.
Am I making this better or just different? That's the real question.
11. When you're trying to analyze a short story or poem for a literature class and you realize you have no idea what the author is talking about.
It was all just an illusion, this whole time.
So now that I've spent an entire article discussing the genius of Nick Miller quotes, I have just one thing to say to any haters out there.