As an always-procrastinating college student, I’m never one to reject a quick study break via social media. In the midst of writing papers and prepping for exams, nothing seems more appropriate than taking a quick scroll through my news feed to clear the mind.
At one point, taking a Buzzfeed quiz or reading through a funny list was amusing. They broke the monotony of my day, briefly liberated me from the weight of my impending homework, and gave my brain the detox it needed.
However, the content consuming my newsfeed has exceeded the point of amusement. When these articles, quizzes and lists first began appearing, I couldn’t help but click on the tempting titles and witty wordplay. Now, as I scroll through the posts and statuses my virtual friends couldn’t help but share, I can’t help but feel like it’s Groundhog’s Day.
The titles rarely stray from one of the following concepts:
1. Being a "90s kid"
I’m a 90s kid. But who am I kidding? I was four when the new millennium came. So just because I spent four years crawling on all fours, sucking on my thumb, going to bed before 10:00 p.m. and wearing diapers, I now have the right to share a slew of articles, lists, and gifs that only 90s kids will understand?
We all know that "Spongebob Squarepants" was in its prime during the Bubble Bowl and the rise of the Hash-Slinging-Slasher. We also all know that you were doing it wrong if you didn’t have a full VHS collection featuring classics like "The Brave Little Toaster" and "Space Jam".
And although I agree, us 90s kids had it made when it came to growing up, we do not need to incessantly remind the rest of our Facebook friends that the best decade of all time is over and that our long lost childhood kicked ass.
Getting older is sad enough; I don’t need repeated lists of all the things we miss from the 90’s to remind me of that.
2. Why I Love my Sorority/Fraternity
Heck yeah, Greek Life. You found an organization that you love just as much as they love you? Hollar. You’ve found the community you’ve always been looking for thanks to this amazing group of individuals? That’s freakin awesome.
But chances are, we already know that based on the boundless Instagram posts and album uploads you post every weekend in your stitched letter shirts throwing what you know.
Don’t mistake me, being in an organization you’re all about is the way to go. But you don’t see people in the chess club posting articles about why their favorite piece is the king. Same difference.
3. 15 Pictures of (Insert Adorable Animal/Hot Celebrity Here) You Didn't Know You Needed
For all those girls out there that need the effect of a full romantic comedy in the fraction of the time: you are typically the perpetrator of this one.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not one to turn my head from a picture of a cute puppy. Nor am I one to turn my head from a photo of Ryan Gosling.
And for further clarification, I am definitely not one to turn my head from a photo of a Ryan Gosling playing with a cute puppy.
But no matter how strong the urge is, these posts have got to go. While we may think we’re doing our fellow ladies a favor by posting these heart-warming photos of celebrity crushes or fuzzy friends, it’s getting old.
A cute photo of a small animal or an even cuter photo of Ryan Gosling is not going to cure me of the unchecked lists I have sitting in my agenda.
4. _________ as Explained by "The Office" Gifs
Yes, in a perfect world, Michael Scott would be our future boss and everyday would be filled with oblivious antics and zero production.
But, also in a perfect world, professors would accept papers written in the form of gifs featuring Michael Scott.
Unfortunately, neither is very attainable.
Fortunately, there’s something we can do to stop it! And that resolution can only occur when we stop comparing Syllabus Week, Finals Week, drunken weekends, hungover mornings, etc. via The Office gifs.
5. 7 Times Kim's Crying Face Explained Finals Week
Although I am no stranger to the Kardashian craze, that’s not something I’m willing to openly admit to the public. The first form of prevention: never share anything concentrated around the Karashians on social media.
And while we all know that Kim’s crying face is more horrific than her choice in baby names, seeing her tears throughout a variety of gifs will not eliminate the fact that it perfectly describes how we’re feeling on the inside.
6. 10 Things You're Not Afraid to Ask Your Roommates
“Can you see my underwear through these leggings?” Use a mirror.
“Does my hair look greasy?” You should probably shower anyway.
“Should I skip class?” It’s not like she’s going to be doing the missed class work for you.
I love my roommates. They keep me sane during late night homework treks and turn my laughs into tears after a Saturday night out. But I do not need to read an article reminding me of all the shameless things I probably shouldn’t actually ask out loud.
We all do it, but no one wants to admit to it. So let’s just leave those questions behind closed doors.
7. An Open Letter to (Insert Family Member/Significant Other Here)
You love your mom? That’s great, so do I. You’re a daddy’s girl? I would’ve never guessed! You wrote a sappy letter to your boyfriend that’s almost as generic as One Direction lyrics? You must really love him.
Letters are great, especially when they’re not as vague as a Hallmark card. If you’ve got such a special relationship with somebody and you want to write a letter expressing that, then 100% follow through with that on your own time.
But if you’re sharing a generic article that 257 people have also shared, chances are it’s not too specific to you. In which case, I’ve probably read dozens of the same letter before.
Do us a favor, and leave the letter for the mailbox and not the status.
8. Why (Insert Food Here) Is Better Than a Boyfriend
Sure, pizza is your spirit animal and understands you better than any boy could. We already knew that from when you shared the article “Why Pizza Is My Spirit Animal.”
But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
It’s ironic, because I could’ve sworn last Valentine’s Day you shared an article about how hard it is to be single on February 14th. Where was your pizza then?
9. 11 Ways You Know You're From (Insert State Here)
I don’t pump my own gas? Thank you for the reminder, or else I would’ve forgot I’m from New Jersey!
I’ll admit, I do get a chuckle at the sarcastic pieces mocking people’s home-states. But please, don’t pretend like you’re doing me a favor by reminding me where you’re from.
If I already know what state you live in, it’s because I’m your friend. If I don’t know where you’re from, it’s because you’re probably only my virtual friend and chances are I don’t truly know you anyway. So why should I be reminded?
10.Quiz: What "Friends" Character Are You?
Similar to the 90s kids fad, Friends is no stranger to the old-school nostalgia.
But let’s be honest, if you were actually around for when the sitcom was at it’s peak, you’d understand that there is only one Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Chandler. No matter how badly we may want to be a part of the "Friends" squad, no amount of Buzzfeed quizzes will change that.
11. 47.5 Things Only Best Friends Understand
Oh my gosh, you guys both know the other’s order at Dunkin Donuts? The stars must have been aligned the day that the two of you met.
You’re trying to tell me that you guys can give each other a look and just know when the other has to pee? You two must be BFFEAED (best friends for ever and ever, duh).
I’m so happy to hear that your best friend is bae and just gets you. But you also tried convincing me earlier that pizza is better than a boyfriend, so I’ll let that speak on behalf of your relationships and friendships.
Don’t get me wrong; I love a mindlessly time-consuming article that will probably amuse me more than the inside of a textbook. However, it also pains me to see that of all the uniquely entertaining and distinctively refreshing articles my peers write for platforms such as The Odyssey, most get lost to these overrated posts.
So, in the words of Michael Scott, I will leave it at this: Next time you’re considering opening a list, quiz, letter or gif featuring any of the above concepts, always remember:
