No matter how well-trained, there are always some endeavors that come along with having a service dog. Then, if you add a large breed to the mix, you suddenly realize there are even more humorous battles to encounter on a daily basis. In the end, however, you could not imagine a partner more qualified to be at you side (including such skills as contortion, modeling, and public speaking). Here are 11 hilarious struggles of having a large service dog!
1. If it fits, it sits.
A part of being a professional contortionist means fitting wherever possible given the least amount of space. More than likely, there will be times where the only place to put your giant service animal is on your lap, which for dog breeds such as Great Danes is second nature. Is there an open seat beside you? Well, don't be surprised if your happy helper decides that is where they want to sit down. You'll get plenty of stares but you do what you have to do to make it work!
2. You should be on a sit-com.
Sometimes we can forget that a large dog can look comical beside the average human walking around a grocery store or waiting to be seated at a fine dining restaurant. With all the funny and harrowing tales you could tell, it's a shock that a TV producer hasn't asked to document your crazy and bold life. Remember that time your dog jumped over the puddle with you still holding on? Yeah, neither do I but maybe that's why having cameras following you around would help to prove just how wild your daily life can be!
3. You have to listen to people reminding you of how big they are.
The same annoying horse jokes are recycled again and again. People seem to be unable to restrain themselves when it comes to commenting on your dog's size, as if the owner is somehow unaware.
"You could ride that thing!"
"Who is walking who?"
"Strap a saddle on him!"
No matter how much you long for a day when you don't hear someone comment on the size of your little puppy, suddenly it appears. How big or small you are in comparison to your dog will determine the sonority of the gasps echoing around you and whether or not people think to ask if your puppy is friendly [growls].
4. Sometimes single-file is the only way.
From walking through tiny doorways to crowded places, sometimes single-file is the only way to fit you both into the same area. When side-by-side, you take up the width of two average people glued together, so if the sign says single-file, that includes you and your hefty side-kick. If your service dog happens to be for mobility, shuffling along with their nose pressed into your back can be a challenge; But these moments are luckily rare, especially when most people are willing to make room for the beautiful creature at your side.
5) Plane rides are interesting. Actually, most forms of travel are.
Going back to the fact that large service dogs are contortionists may explain how they are able to travel on everything from taxi cabs to planes. While calling ahead and requesting special accommodations does help, nothing prepares you for that moment when you find your seats and panic when you see how little room there is, especially in the foot area. Time and again, the fear dissipates as the dog tucks himself up on the floor or sits on an adjacent seat, almost becoming a part of the travel vessel. People are always impressed and smiling once they realize how such large breeds can adapt to almost any situation.
6. How they disappear under the restaurant table is a miracle we need to acknowledge.
How they do it, no one knows but for those who have witnessed it, only magic can explain it! No table is too small either, because large breeds of dogs will find a way to fit under it and out of walking traffic. You always seem to have a camera in one hand and a treat in the other, waiting to show your friends just how talented your hero is.
7. They eat a ton.
People love to ask how much your service dog eats when it's time for feeding! I bet if you offered people the opportunity to watch they'd be happy to pay the $5 fee. With how tall your service buddy is, strangers fear that they will swipe some food off the restaurant trays. If they only knew how well-trained your puppy is! They may eat a lot but they have manners that any parent could envy!
8. Cleaning up their poop in public is always hilarious.
Sometimes strangers can forget that service dogs are still dogs at the end of the day. Yes, they poop and pee, and yes, it is not uncommon to be in public when that happens. A crowd may form and people will stare at you with wide eyes in shock at the gigantic poop you're scraping off the cement. If your dog is for mobility, picking up their stool can be be interpreted as a native dance or a mime show where you seem to be holding onto a harness while continuously trying not to fall into the mess. No matter what, people love to watch for some reason because when was the last time they saw street art this exciting. Nope. Still waiting.
9. You're a celebrity everywhere you go.
Fame was not what you expected when you first met your new pal, but now you can't seem to escape it. People will stare in awe, interrupt your dinner to ask 10 random questions that have popped into their mind, and even request to take a picture. You can't go anywhere without having to interact with strangers curious about your disability, your favorite saddle company, and especially about your dog. Sometimes you get so fed up that you begin to creep around corners to check for a clear path to the exit.
10. You have to hold the door open forever to get the long tail in.
The larger the dog, the longer you have to hold the door open! For the sake of that cute wagging tail, you check at least 3 times before releasing the handle. People begin to wonder if you have a twitch in your neck but they don't realize the depth of your fears. When you walk on all fours instead of two, it my take you a little more time to walk through the door. But let's be honest: they sure do make quite the entrance!
11. Sometimes they like to spread out.
While they make great contortionists, there are some days where there is nothing they'd rather do than to take up as much space as they can. And well, that's not always a bad thing! There is a rebel side in every dog which should be allowed to shine in casual and safe situations. If my dog sees a patch of grass wider than 5 feet, he is quick to sprawl himself out like he owns it.
