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11 Etsy Gifts You Should Never Give Anyone, Ever

Summer Nesreen Masoud

Dec 04, 2016

University of Texas El Paso

11 Etsy Gifts You Should Never Give Anyone, Ever

Ukraine Gift Delivery

Dabbin’ Through the Snow Christmas Sweater

Okay first of all this sweatshirt isn’t even remotely clever, it’s just jumping off the cultural trend that is dabbing. Secondly, fads like these fade fast, in fact I’m pretty sure we’ve already moved on to the Mannequin Challenge. So the lifespan for the relevance of this shirt is less than a month, at which point its doomed to a life of hopping between thrift stores until someone has the mercy to burn it.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/478806396/dabbin-thro...

Matching “Hubs” and “Wifey” coffee mugs

When matching wedding bands aren’t enough to advertise your marriage to the world, try these matching cringey coffee mugs.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/202503310/unique-wedd...

Personalized Nursing Water Bottle Tag

Is this such a problem in the nursing community that it necessitates these to exist? Water bottle thieves that frequent hospitals?

https://www.etsy.com/listing/249904812/personalize...

Hostess with the Mostess Underwear

I’m against any sort of cliche text on anything ever but this is just odd, never mind that the typography is somewhat… pubic.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/493548721/hostess-wit...

Baby Foot Cookie Cutter

This looks nothing like a baby foot. This item should be renamed Realistic Poop Shape Cookie Cutter.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/219376847/baby-foot-c...

Daughter to Dad Text Poster

This is the most uncomfortable and creepy sounding poster I have ever read. In one sentence this sign reinforces two outdated gender roles: (1) thinking girls spend every day of their life pining for their future husband, and (2) that girls have to be submissive to their fathers no matter how old they become.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/465711856/christmas-g...

Hillbilly Weener Kleaner

...It’s a bar of soap with a hole cut into it. A bar of soap...with a hole cut into it.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/212075002/hillbilly-w...

Sexy Lightbulb

Why anyone on Earth would pay for prewritten naughty messages packaged in a fragile glass lightbulb for their significant other is honestly shocking. OR, you have the option of paying for blank strips of paper to write the messages yourself, so basically buy a lightbulb for $13.00!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/271583949/sale-sex-co...

Pinterest Poster

No social media platform is worth hanging a framed print glorifying it in your home, no matter how many photos of bubble tea they have. If you have this hung up in your home you probably also have crocheted beer coozies and a LiveLoveLaugh photo frame in your living room.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/101797216/keep-calm-a...

Felt Coffee Coozy

This looks like a strip of rotting human flesh, and I can imagine it would start smelling like moldy coffee farts within ten minutes of use.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/386693554/felted-coff...

Breaking Bad Suggestive T-Shirt

Finally, a T-Shirt in honor of the Destiny's Child classic, "Sulfuray my Nitrogename."

https://www.etsy.com/listing/233836985/ladies-funn...

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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11 Etsy Gifts You Should Never Give Anyone, Ever

Dabbin’ Through the Snow Christmas Sweater

Matching “Hubs” and “Wifey” coffee mugs

Personalized Nursing Water Bottle Tag

Hostess with the Mostess Underwear

Baby Foot Cookie Cutter

Daughter to Dad Text Poster

Hillbilly Weener Kleaner

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!