Hello Settlers of Catan enthusiast,
Welcome to your handbook that will define some of the prospects that you call "friends" who play this savage game. Like I always say, "settlers of catan is a savage game for savage people." It will always be the go-to board game with all of my friends and hopefully yours too. At times it might strain your friendship because well love is a battlefield, but here you clearly peek into the real hearts and souls of your companions. Here are a list of the people you might find surrounding the table at game night when playing Settlers of Catan.
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1. The Champion Player (aka the Imperialist.)
This is the person who always wins a game and never really understands why or how, which in all reality makes you hate them even more for not just winning. For all who lose to the champion player will someday experience hope of winning and watching them lose, but trust me it's relatively rare.
2. The Second Best
A very self-explanatory type of person playing the game and easily one of the most frustrating positions to be in as a player: you’re always so close to winning, but you never get the chance to play your winning move. As always the champion player sweeps in before the kill with a victory point and a new city that would end the game with a win, but nope that doesn’t help you at all. Instead you lose.
3. The H ‘ore’ der (Hoarder, put down minus 5 if you didn’t understand the pun.)
Always the person holding all of the ore and other important cards, yet they waste their cards as a seven is rolled. What a shameful player, who probably would win otherwise if they actually played or traded their cards with other participants.
4. The Savage
Everyone's worst enemy as you never know what is quite up their sleeve or in their development card pile. The player who will take, trade, or steal only for their benefit.
5. The Penny-Pincher
Usually the person most annoyed with not winning throughout the game and therefore will not trade with you as you're winning with more points, when in all reality they just don’t trade cards. As always they make the game much more difficult.
*** The game is known for building, settling and trading. Come on now, all you stingy players. You’ll most likely never win with this strategy.***
6. The Newbie
Hands down the best player to trade with because they are so willing to trade anything for a low minimum. Sometimes you just gotta’ take advantage of the ignorant-unknowledgable players. #sorrynotsorry
7. The Roadie
The type of person playing whom solely relies on wood and brick. They’re clearly using the longest road as a strategy to hopefully win. Good luck.
8. The Gambler
Ore, wheat and sheep are their primary goal for resource cards. This player wastes perfectly usable cards on the chance of winning fabulous development cards.
9. The Liar
The sinner that chooses to lie to all of the players about specific resource cards, and then later on their turn plays that card. Its okay I guess if you’re fine playing with CHEATERS.
10. The Slow Poke
The real reason behind games taking a lot longer than they should. If only there was a real development card to use on players that take their sweet ass time. Yeah, I said it.
11. The Port Lover
This devoted catan player clearly picks their first settlements based on locality to a port, which is always a grand and intelligent idea. A very helpful strategy that works well for yourself and others as your more capable to trading and receiving cards you need.
