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11 (Corny) Jokes To Brighten Your Day

Cause who doesn't need a laugh?

Claire Barckholtz

Mar 21, 2017

Saginaw Valley State University

24665

Jeremiah Kraniak

The world right now is not happy. Social media is negative, the news is negative, people in general are so negative nowadays. In light of this worldly negativity, I decided to share my all time favorite jokes to the public to share a laugh and a smile and to lighten up the mood that has so penetrated everyone's souls.

So, without further ado, here are my favorite jokes:

(Warning: I cannot promise that they will not be cheesy.)

1. Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

2. What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

3. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach.

4. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

Bison.

5. Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

To get a long little doggie.

6. Why couldn't the dinosaur watch TV?

Because it was dead.

7. I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough...

I just handed in my too weak notice.

8. Why did Sally fall off of the swings?

Because she had no arms.

9. Knock knock?

(who's there)

Not Sally.

10. I'm positive I just lost an electron,

Better keep an ion that.

11. So an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar...

And the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors here."

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

11 (Corny) Jokes To Brighten Your Day

Cause who doesn't need a laugh?

1. Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

2. What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

3. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

4. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

5. Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

6. Why couldn't the dinosaur watch TV?

7. I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough...

8. Why did Sally fall off of the swings?

9. Knock knock?

10. I'm positive I just lost an electron,

11. So an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar...

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It's not just business as usual.

Constantly having to dress business formal.

Group projects.

Applying for internships.

Being told your major is easy.

You just want to be rich already.

Explaining to people why you're a business major.

Using LinkedIn like it's Facebook.

You grow up too fast.

Trying way too hard to make a good impression on companies at career fairs.

Many of your professors have foreign accents.

You don't want to graduate, but you know that you're more than ready.

10 things that most incoming college freshmen have no idea about.

Your Schedule

The Library

Time Management

Registration

Housing

The Dining Hall

Teachers

Clubs

High School Friends

Finals

It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

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