1. "The wait is how long?!"

While I can't speak for all locations, I can guarantee that the wait in my restaurant will be at least an hour on a Friday night. And no, Asking the host how much longer you have every 10 minutes doesn't make the hour go faster.

2. "These floors are so slick!"

Thank you for letting me know, ma'am! I really had no idea how smooth real marble is. Wearing shoes that you can walk in under normal conditions is extremely helpful, too.

3. "Your menu is so long...what do you suggest?"

We have over 250 menu items- not including our cheesecake selection. We all have our favorite dishes and would be more than happy to give suggestions- just give us an idea of what you like instead of making us read the menu to you until you hear us say "Fettuccine Alfredo" or "Buffalo wings."

4. "I'll take a piece of cheesecake... What kind do you have?"

You're at the Cheesecake Factory. Don't be ridiculous.

5. "I actually don't like this-- can I just get a burger?"

We absolutely love when a guest decides to venture out of their comfort zone and try one of our non-traditional items. What we don't like is when you take two bites and decide you want a burger instead. Not only do we have to throw out your food, we have to get a manager involved, and then we have to cook you an entirely new dish while everyone else at the table eats. Have an idea of what you like, and if you don't think you like curry sauce-- don't order a Thai dish that clearly states the ingredient in the menu.

6. "I'll take one of everything!"

... Right. That's actually the first time I've heard that one.

7. "Do you bake the cheesecakes here?"

Yeah, we do. We have all kinds of ovens and time on our hands.

8. "I bet it was really hard to memorize all of this stuff."

Training to be a server at the Cheesecake Factory is one step below lifeguard certification as far as difficulty and time in training. That's both sad and terrifying at the same time.

9. "Make sure you run the gift card first and then my credit card."

Thank you, again, for such a helpful tip. All of my years in higher education could have never prepared me for this moment.

10. "Can you split our meal onto two plates?"

Would you like me to cut it into tiny pieces so you don't choke, as well?

11. "Can I get some bread to go?"