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11 A.M. Kickoffs Are The Devil And Every UA Student Can Agree

I hate them, you hate them, everybody hates them.

Patrick Dowd

Sep 27, 2018

The University of Alabama

554

alabamafbl / Instagram

Last weekend Alabama "played" Texas A&M and it was actually an enjoyable time. It was a fun atmosphere, fans were excited that our stretch of preseason games was over, and because of the fact that we actually may have a competitive half of football. I had a lot of fun and it was a nice tease of the conference games to come. Now I wake up the next morning asking myself "I wonder who we play this weekend?" naturally I get excited when we actually play in conference games.

So I grab my phone and after messing up my passcode a couple times I get it unlocked and open the ESPN app to get next weeks game. To my disliking, I noticed we were playing Louisiana-Lafayette. Now two things went through my mind at this point in time.

First, "Oh man, this one's gonna be ugly I might not make it to halftime." Second, "It looks like I get to make some money this week."

Both seemed like decent, doable options, but then there it was, looking back at me with that evil smile. 11 a.m.

Lucas Film

I was disgusted, furious, and a little hurt. It made me feel like I should do something about it. So that's why I'm here, to give you all the reasons why 11 a.m. kickoffs are the living embodiment of evil and need to go away.

They make you wake up early on a weekend

Nobody likes getting up early, especially before noon on a Saturday.

It's dangerous for the players

I don't really have a ton of facts to back this up, but what I do know is from experience. When you wake up in the morning your body is pretty dehydrated because of your sleep. I've had a number of embarrassing cramps at early morning football practices because I wasn't properly hydrated. I know these guys are getting taken care of by the best of the best, but I'm willing to be that the average college student isn't looking forward to waking up in the morning and the first thing they do is pound a gallon of water.

They eat Kit Kats down the middle

Not breaking it into two and just taking one big bite it's the worst thing in the world... Can't trust 'em.

It's never a good matchup

How many times have you seen USC and Stanford play at 11 a.m.? How about Ohio State and Michigan? Or even the Army and Navy? The answer is never. It's always a big school against a little school and for the most part, they are massive blowouts. The sole purpose of the game is so the bigger school funds all the other's sports teams. So they basically show up and get absolutely embarrassed and get millions of dollars for it. Ok I know that sounds kind of genius but when you sit down and actually watch the game, it's sad.

They saw "Infinity War" before watching any other Marvel movies

Just why...?

None of the fans will show up/stay for very long and it's kind of expensive

All of a sudden if you are a fan who is traveling from out of the state you have a hell of a trip ahead of you. You probably need to take Friday off to get down here. You need to get a hotel/motel because it's so early. Then you need to wake up at like 7:30 a.m. to get up and get ready. If your tailgating you probably need to show up at the quad by 8 – 9 a.m. and if you're of age you need to vacuum down about nine beers because it's a tailgate. You also need to find some form of food whether you make it wait in line for it, or if you're content with eating $7 popcorn and nachos inside.

And on top of everything, you will want to leave by the first quarter because it's such an ugly game. Now if you show me, someone who is willing to do this for Alabama vs Louisiana-Lafayette, I will gladly give that person a firm handshake and $5.

As you can see, 11 a.m. games are just the worst. They aren't good for the fans, players, or for the quality of life. What should really happen is that the earliest game played on Saturdays should at the earliest be at 1 pm. A lot of these problems get solved that way. You do get to sleep in after a long Friday night, you do have time to travel to the game, you do have time to make your own food ext. But will it happen? Probably not. But that doesn't mean we can't kick and scream to whoever runs college football, that stuff like this isn't cool. So share this article and it might happen.

But we still say Roll Tide!!!

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11 A.M. Kickoffs Are The Devil And Every UA Student Can Agree

I hate them, you hate them, everybody hates them.

In This Article:

They make you wake up early on a weekend

It's dangerous for the players

They eat Kit Kats down the middle

It's never a good matchup

They saw "Infinity War" before watching any other Marvel movies

None of the fans will show up/stay for very long and it's kind of expensive

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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