I have learned many lessons these past four years, almost five years of college and the roots go back all the way to my childhood. The lesson I have learned at 22 is: not everyone is worth your time and energy.
I'm from a small town where pretty much my whole graduating class I knew from either all the way back to pre-school or to the first or second grade. I had a lot of "best friends" growing up and we were glued to the hips during recess and at the afterschool program at the YMCA. I was nice to have so many friends to play with on the playground, and to eat lunch with or to sit on the circle carpet for story time. It was nice to have a partner in crime always.
Middle school is when I just wanted to be liked. I was in jazz band, band, choir, and soccer. I got along fine with my band nerds, but in middle school, cliques begin and they're hard to break or join if you haven't been friends with them since you were little. My "best friends" weren't glued to my hip anymore, and I was tackling on middle school the best I could.
High school I had many "best friends" again. Thanks to theatre, show choir, chorus, fundraisers, late night rehearsals and classes I was constantly with my people. I was with the people who understood my late-night homework stress and running quickly to Dunkin Donuts to grab a bagel and coffee before our three o'clock rehearsal. These people understood me in ways my family didn't. They were always there to talk about my problems and darkest secrets, and they were my second family since I was rarely home those four years.
Now I'm in college and am back to not have many "best friends" and I'm learning that's okay. I am okay with a small group of real friends. Friends who will answer my calls and texts when I have an emergency, good news, or need to move furniture around my dorm because I'm bored. I don't need a ton of best friends, because I'm learning I didn't really know all of those "best friends" in my group of 20 friends. I vaguely knew them, but I didn't know every little detail, I couldn't finish their sentences, and I don't know their stir fry order if they're late to dinner.
I am a people pleaser and I want people to like me. Yet if those "best friends" don't like me I have to be okay with that. I don't need to put in my energy and time to make them like me. I have friends on campus who are glued to my hip, daily food dates, library dates, and someone I can bounce ideas off. Those are the best friends I need. The friends who miss me when I'm gone for a day or so and know the ending of my bad jokes.
You're not going to have everyone like you and it's not worth your time and energy. I bet you're an amazing person who is surrounded by the right people you need in life right now. Forget the ones who burnt the bridge between you two and be happy with the people who you have in your life and have stayed through thick and then. Those are your best friends and your people.
