If you’re a total political junkie like me, then you’ve probably been following this Presidential election with a mix of hope and abject dread. That dread has, for the most part, come from one major source: Donald J. Trump. Look, I’m not gonna give a hu--I’m sorry, yuuuge spiel about why Trump is basically a human pile of trash. I already did that on Fresh U a couple months back, and you can check that out if you want. But even faced with the prospect of a violence-inciting, bigotry-enabling, tiny-handed mess who eats his pizza with a fork and knife like a disgusting animal--Donald, you’re from New York! Pick it up with your hand and fold it in half!--there are still people who are more concerned about Hillary Clinton being President than Trump. In fact, one of my co-workers here at The Odyssey--I use that term loosely, since she goes to a school thousands of miles away and each college’s branch does their own thing--wrote a list of 100 things she would rather do than vote for Hillary, and it blew the hell up.

Now, I’m not trying to call this person out, even if that article fit right in with the stereotype that the writers for this site are all conservative white girls. In fact, I’d like to thank her, because her list got me thinking. I know that, as a self-identifying liberal who voted for Bernie Sanders in the primaries, I’d never vote for Donald Trump, just as she would never vote for Hillary Clinton. But how far would I go to not vote for Trump? How ludicrous of a choice would I be willing to mark on my ballot this November? There was only one way to find out. I had to make a list of my own. These are 100 people (and things) I would rather vote for than Donald Trump.

1. Bernie Sanders

2. Hillary Clinton

3. Jill Stein

4. Gary Johnson

5. Kamala Harris

6. Loretta Sanchez

7. Elizabeth Warren

8. Jennifer Granholm

9. Any of my friends from Youth & Government and/or CONA

10. Kanye West

11. Kendrick Lamar

12. Lil B the BasedGod

13. Eric B

14. Gucci Mane

15. Gucci Mane’s alleged clone

16. Mike Jones (who?)

17. Mike Jones (who?)

18. Mike Jones (who? okay, fine, I’ll stop)

19. John Cena

20. Pentagon Jr.

21. Roman Reigns (bonus points if he steals the Republican nomination)

22. Zombie Reagan

23. Jesus

24. Tax cuts

25. A gun

26. A sandwich

27. Obama again

28. Bill Clinton’s idiot brother

29. Joe Biden, as portrayed by The Onion

30. Sarah Palin, as portrayed by Tina Fey

31. Howard Dean, as portrayed by Dave Chappelle

32. Richard Nixon’s head in a jar

33. Kang

34. Kodos

35. Cthulhu

36. The Zodiac Killer

37. The Zodiac Killer’s Vice Presidential nominee

38. A demonic sheep

39. Carly Fiorina’s face on a boomerang

40. John Kasich

41. The balanced budget John Kasich loves more than his own wife

42. The free food John Kasich ate on the campaign trail

43. The free balanced budget John Kasich ate on the campaign trail instead of his own wife

44. The picture book Ben Carson’s staff reads to him before his primetime debate nap

45. Scott Walker’s bald spot

46. Everybody Mike Huckabee unwisely tried to attach himself to during his campaign

47. Rand Paul’s flashes of sanity

48. All the total randos who didn’t even get into the Republican debates

49. The white person Bobby Jindal had painted for his governor’s portrait

50. Several gallons of santorum

51. Rick Perry’s smart boy glasses

52. All the ideas Lindsey Graham stole from John McCain

53. Let’s dispel with this fiction that this is a Marco Rubio reference. This is not a Marco Rubio reference.

54. Let’s dispel with this fiction that this is a Marco Rubio reference. This is not a Marco Rubio reference.

55. Let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that this is a Marco Rubio reference. This is not a Marco Rubio reference. (See? There it is again!)

56. The hopes and dreams Chris Christie left behind when he endorsed Trump

57. The exclamation point in “Jeb!"

58. That guy Jim Webb killed in Vietnam

59. A book called “But It Was My First Day!”: The True Story of Lincoln Chafee

60. 100% clean electric grid by 2050

61. Martin O’Malley’s hardcore supporter

62. El Chapo

63. The shovel El Chapo used to dig his way out of prison that one time

64. The song “El Chapo” by The Game and Skrillex

65. The entire cast of the movie Get Shorty

66. The Gang from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

67. My own dang self

68. Onion Bubs

69. Haha, nice

70. The Department of Environmental

71. A Big Gulp from 7-Eleven

72. Evidence of people in New Jersey celebrating 9/11

73. A tiny wall on our northern border that Donald Trump paid for himself

74. Two Corinthians

75. Blood from Megyn Kelly’s wherever

76. A normal-size pair of hands

77. A full, natural head of hair

78. John Boehner

79. Hulk Hogan

80. The cast of Jersey Shore

81. Anyone who actually has naturally orange skin

82. An actual orange

83. An orangutan

84. The Spanish language

85. The New Jersey Generals’ all-time roster

86. Trump Steaks

87. Trump Vodka

88. Trump Water

89. Trump Mortgage

90. A degree from Trump University

91. Any of Donald Trump’s failed casinos

92. The entire American Latino community

93. The entire American Muslim community

94. Any immigrant in America

95. The 95-96 Bulls

96. Anyone from any American community Donald Trump insulted before his campaign

97. Anyone from any American community Donald Trump insulted during his campaign

98. Anyone from any American community Donald Trump didn’t insult during this campaign, but who stands against Trump anyway

99. Anyone from any American community not named Donald John Trump

Seriously, can someone teach Donald that concept, or do we have to kick him out of New York and force him to use New Jersey as his home state?