Don't deny it. We’ve all said our fair share of white lies. I mean, you’ve made it this far, so I think it’s safe to say that either you’re a good liar or your professors are not the brightest.
1. “I really enjoyed the assigned reading this week because…”
Whenever someone in the class starts a sentence like this, it’s a given that they’re full of it. Don’t even give me that. You either painfully suffered through the reading, you read one quote and memorized it, or you didn’t read it at all.
2. “I’m sorry, but I will not be able to attend class.”
Really? Are you actually sorry that you won't be sitting through a 2-hour lecture? If you were sorry then you would actually try to get yourself to class. But you won’t.
3. “I turned in my paper online before midnight, but it didn’t go through.”
It’s 2017. I highly doubt that you are experiencing technical difficulties. But nice try.
4. “Sorry, I'm late. There was traffic.”
I’m pretty sure you have the same routine every morning. Odds are you don’t even drive to school or you live two blocks away. So my guess is you decided to snooze your alarm one too many times.
5. “We didn’t work together on the take-home test.”
Honestly, I don’t even blame you for this one. There is no way your professor is that clueless. It’s his or her own fault.
6. “I tried this problem like 10 times and I still can’t figure it out.”
B-S. You tried it once or twice and gave up because thinking is hard and you’d rather stare at your phone for an hour than use your brain.
7. “I lost the worksheet, can I turn it in tomorrow?”
Let's be honest, you didn’t lose the worksheet, but you did forget to do the homework. And if your teacher isn’t a complete idiot than you’ll be getting a big, fat zero.
8. “I couldn't make it because I had a family emergency.”
You’re probably a pretty bad person if you use this one. I mean seriously, you better hope that karma doesn’t bite you in the butt or else you just screwed your whole family.
9. “My printer ran out of ink.”
I’m just sitting here thinking about the amount of college students at your school who have their own printers and the endless amount of printer options you had. You could have asked anyone, ANYONE.
10. “I’ve had a really stressful week.”
Sadly, that’s no excuse in the real world. Unless your house burned down or you totaled your car, your professor probably won’t buy it. Maybe start crying in front of them. I can see that possibly working out in your favor.
By the way, I am not, in any way, condoning the act of lying. You should really stop it.
