Have you ever felt as if your world can’t get any worse? As if no one is on your side? We all get into a funk sometimes. Whether it be for long periods of time, or just for a day, it’s hard to get out of them. Even outside of your personal world, there’s so much negativity in the world. If you look at magazines or watch reality TV, everyone is thin. Celebrities are meant to be worshiped and we are supposed to try to look like them. Criticizing yourself in every way has become America’s new favorite pastime.

When I was diagnosed with cancer five years ago, I was depressed. I was in a funk. I kept comparing myself to others and saying, “Why can’t I walk as fast? Why aren’t I thin?” I would send awful messages to myself. We all have negative voices in our head. But sometimes these voices spin out of control, so much so that you can’t see beyond them.

I’ve been doing a lot of personal work this past year on how to be a more positive person while acknowledging my true feelings. Before, I was pretending to be positive. I would put on a façade to make everyone else happy. It turns out that pretending that your life is perfect is extremely harmful.

Cancer definitely played into this way I was acting. It was partially me and my lack of confidence, but also, cancer takes voices away. It makes cancer patients and cancer survivors physically weak and fatigued, but it also takes away their choice to use their voice. Cancer takes people’s voices away. For me, I was focusing on how to survive this cancer journey. Then when I did survive, which I was so grateful for, I didn’t know how to transition or how to regain my voice.

For anyone who has a tough time with self-esteem, I want to share some tips on accepting yourself and living a truly happy life. Because what I found to be true is when you feel positive, any challenge you face is still hard, but it’s more bearable. Also, it’s less taxing on yourself because you don’t criticize yourself as much. Here are my 10 ways to live a happy life:

1. Know that feelings are okay to have.

Yes, you can have feelings. You can even have strong feelings! Before I started this personal work, I would avoid all feelings. If I felt anything, I’d send a code red! Code red! I would bury my feelings down and never express them. Then, they came out in odd ways. I would get angry and blame my feelings on another person, or I would not say anything and sit there silently. What I’ve learned is that what’s scarier than expressing feelings is not having them. You need to feel. You can talk about your feelings with a trusted person. Yet, sometimes the best thing you can do is discuss your feelings with yourself. I’ve found writing and singing to be extremely helpful as well. Just know that you can have feelings because that’s human.

2. Don't compare yourself to others.

Other people have different paths to travel than you do. They have their own struggles. While their Instagram pictures might look flawless, their life is not a cakewalk. Also, celebrities are photoshopped in pictures to look perfect. Just focus on your natural beauty.

3. Spend time outdoors.

Spending time in nature is such a healing process. Just sitting and looking at the sky can make you happy. Take walks, swim in the ocean or an outdoor pool, or have dinner outside in your own backyard. In this fast-paced world, there is little chance to relax outside. Make some time.

4. Hang out with friends often!

For the Type-A people like me who feel guilty about relaxing, make sure to hang out with friends. Life is no fun if you just check off items on your to-do list. Prioritize your friends. Go out for frozen yogurt or go to the movies. Friends are incredible. Make time for them.

5. Take time for yourself.

This relates to tip number 4, but it needs to be emphasized. Make time in your busy schedule to get a haircut, get your nails done, or eat out with friends and family. Give yourself permission to treat yourself!

6. Find a passion.

Find a hobby that you love. For me, my passion is singing. I love writing my own songs and recording them at this fantastic organization called Next Step! Find something that interests you and go for it!

7. Be grateful, even for the small things in life.

It’s easier to be grateful for a new job or making the Dean’s List at college, but what about someone treating you to lunch or bringing in cupcakes at work? How about being grateful for a new day? It’s easy to get down if things don’t go your way, but try to look on the bright side! When you’re more grateful, you are more positive. Life isn’t as bad as it seems. And trust me, other people have it far worse than you do.

8. Appreciate everyone you meet.

Sure, there are some people that are just plain rude. But they might be having a really hard day. Be kind to them. I know this is easier said than done, but let’s take another example. Say someone is serving you lunch behind a counter. When they hand you your food, say thank you. Say thanks to family and friends too. Everyone wants to be appreciated!

9. Don't expect everyone to "get it."

When I was going through cancer treatment, and right after, I wanted my friends to get what I was going through. But how could they? They didn’t have cancer, and I would never want them to! I’m also visually impaired, so I wanted people to understand that. Yet, that’s impossible. People might try to get your problem, but don’t expect them to. That’s just unfair, for the other person and for you.

10. Be your own cheerleader!

When I’m about to criticize myself, I’ve learned to take a step back. For me, I love acting. I pretend to take on another identity. I am a therapist and I’m counseling myself. It’s just easier for me that way. But if that’s too weird for you, just be yourself! Recognize your accomplishments. Be a friend to yourself, and know that you’re amazing. You are a star.