1. They ask you questions.

I don’t think you will be able to keep people around who don’t care about you. If they don’t ask you how you’ve been after a time apart, they probably don’t care. If they don’t care enough to ask how your classes are going, how your mom is, or if you have listened to an awesome album, they don’t think of you as much as they should. They should be just as invested in your life as you are in theirs.

2. They know your family.

This is a very important step in friendships. If they haven’t come around to your hometown or out to dinner with your parents, they’re not a true friend yet. Friends are the family you choose and at some point you will introduce them to the family you got stuck with. And vice versa; you should probably meet their family at some point.

3. They have seen you cry.

Some people don’t open up easily and some do a bit too easily. No matter which way it goes, a lifelong friend will see you cry at some point. You should be able to trust them and be comfortable enough with them to go to that person if something terrible happens.

4. You’ve done at least one regrettable thing together.

Whether this is a stupid tattoo, drinking too much together, or making stupid videos of yourselves, there will be a time in your friendship that you find yourself doing something you know is stupid, but the two of you will not care at the time.

5. When you come back together, nothing changes.

You will inevitably spend time away from your best friend. Maybe it’s a week, a summer, or years of your life. The only thing that matters is that things fall right back into step when you come back together. Your old jokes are still there and you still love them as much as ever.

6. They will always be down to spend time with you.

This is a hard one to come to terms with sometimes. If a person doesn’t want to spend as much time as they possibly can with you, they will not be your friend forever. They will be your friend for now but they will slowly choose other people and things before you and distance will increase. They should always want to come over to your house and they should always pick up when you call.

7. They will put you in a good mood.

Surround yourself with people who make you happier. They make you laugh until you can’t breathe, they send you stupid snap chats that make you smile, and they always liven up a conversation. You should always have fun with them and if you don’t, why would you want to spend all your time with them?

8. They make memories with you.

This is the person you tell stories about to all of your other friends. You have so many stories about this person that they always come up in conversation. They are always your first thought when you can invite a friend on a trip. Everyone in your life knows their name because you’ve told so many stories about your adventures together.

9. They make you a better person.

Something about this person is admirable. Something about them you wish you could do better and you hope that they will rub off on you. You know you must be a decent person if they want to spend all this time with you. Watching them do their thing makes you happy and they make you work harder or smile brighter.

10. They love you no matter what.

They’ve seen you stumble and they’ve seen you fall. They’ve seen the worst versions of you, angry, frustrated, or sick. They’ve seen you fail, they’ve seen you mess up, they’ve even see you hurt someone. But they just love you anyways. They love you for all the things you have and all the things you lack. If someone still cares after all the shit life throws at you, they will always care.