Sabotaging our own happiness is something almost everyone can relate to – or maybe I'm just telling myself that for the purpose of this article. The negative schemas, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and trying to control every little thing are just a few of the ways we may be sabotaging our own happiness and not even know it. Whether you are doing it on purpose, or not on purpose, most of the time we are the only ones that stand in the way of our own happiness. So maybe a lightbulb or two will go off when you see how you might be sabotaging your own happiness, and then if you want, you have the power to change it! How cool is that?

1. You try to control everything.

Everything needs to be your way or the highway. Surrendering to an outcome you don't necessarily expect can actually be quite freeing. Try it sometime.

2. You have low self-esteem.

Let's be honest, who doesn't have low self-esteem... And if you do claim you have high self-esteem, you're probably lying. It's your low self-esteem that's telling you to sabotage your own happiness, because for some reason, you're not worthy, which couldn't be further from the truth.

3. You listen to that negative voice in your head.

That negative voice in your head is the worst. It tells you you aren't good enough, you shouldn't try, no one likes you, and blah blah blah. Sabotaging your happiness comes from listening to this voice. So stop.

4. You fear the unknown.

OK, but let's be honest, who doesn't fear what they don't know? Having this uncontrollable fear/worry can be taxing at times. Maybe try thinking about the unknown as new and exciting instead of fearful and anxious. After all, it is how you think about things that either help or hinder you.

5. You are afraid of failure.

The fear of failure is nothing more than a desire to feel safe and comforted. When we fail at something, that probably means we weren't very good at it, which is a lot to swallow. Making a mistake is a learning experience and that's the beauty of it.

6. You hate rejection.

Everyone hates rejection; I'm pretty sure that's a universal fact. It doesn't matter if you didn't get that job or you asked someone out and they said no... It all feels the same. It is often this fear of rejection that allows us to not try or make an effort because we think we'll just be rejected when that isn't the case. Take risks and don't let rejection scare you from even trying.

7. You find it hard to forgive yourself.

Forgiving yourself is always hard. The problem comes when you hold on to that pain and guilt that does nothing to serve you, except make you feel like s&*t. Let it go.

8. You blame other people.

Be an adult and take responsibility for your own actions. Stop thinking that things just keep happening to you without your control. People do not go out of their way to hurt you or make you up; you do that to yourself.

9. You're a perfectionist.

It's great to want to do your best, but your happiness should not depend so heavily on the outcome. Have confidence in yourself and your worth, and stop making your happiness so conditional.

10. You focus on the negative.

If you are constantly negative, chances are the world is dealing you a pretty crappy hand. So maybe, just maybe, and hear me out for a second: if you change the way you think, you can change what happens around you. I'm not saying be positive all the time, because that's a little unrealistic – we all have our bad days, but every time you catch yourself saying something negative, or even thinking something negative, stop yourself. This ultimately sabotages your own happiness and doesn't let anything good into your life.

Happiness doesn't happen overnight; it's a choice and a lifestyle. So next time you recognize yourself or someone else doing these things, stop them and let them know that happiness is worth it!