Wherever you stand, no one wants to talk about the election this Thanksgiving. So, here are 10 ways to steer the conversation away from politics this holiday.
1. "Oh boy, these potatoes!"
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They may be sweet or savory. They could be good, but they might be bad. Either way, it beats hearing about this election, so just scream it to the heavens. If you need an extra boost, try asking for the recipe.
2. Pretend to choke.
Hopefully, everyone will stop what they're doing, including boasting their bullshit opinion no one cares about, and help you out during this crisis time. If it doesn't seem to be working, really try and sell it–maybe fall on the floor and drag Grandma down with you.
3. "I'm Pregnant!"
You might not be pregnant, but nothing changes a topic quicker than a baby.
4. "So, who's hosting Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa/New Years Eve?"
And let the discussion begin.
5. Start singing and hope everyone else will join in.
At this point it's worth a shot.
6. Start some juicy family drama.
"Wow, Aunt Carol, I never thought about foreign policy that way before! It's like that one time Aunt Gina said you were raising your kids wrong!"
7. "Grandpa, how was the world different when you were a kid?"
You'll be there for an extra two hours, but it's worth it.
8. Vomit.
Make sure to spray some in the direction of whoever is doing the political talk.
9. Hire an actor who looks suspiciously like you to stage a scene in the middle of dinner where they say "Stop! That's not the real _____, I'm the real ____!"
Should stir things up a bit.
10. "Hold that thought, I just have to take the dog out really quick."
Before they realize you don't have a dog, leave and never go back.
