1) Giraffes: Urine for a surprise
Source to photo: http://lornarande.com/giraffes/
These animals tend to be a fan favorite among people. They're tall, cute and unique. But their mating ritual is has a weird kink to it. Instead of buying her chocolate and flowers first, the male starts with rubbing his head on her back and butt to make her pee. Sounds like a gross fetish, but the males are actually doing this so they can smell her urine and determine whether or not she is ready to mate. But just because one guy tries to pursue his lover doesn’t mean he always gets his lady. Just like in the real world, it is the female who decides who she wants to mate with. Lady giraffes are really into dominance, which means that if they mate with a dominant male than it can better the gene pool of their future off springs.
2) Honeybees: the only thing men are good for is sex…
Source of photo: https://coxshoney.com/10-amazing-pictures-honey-be...
It is pretty important for these little guys to reproduce. They are highly endangered but vital for society, especially for crops. Honey bees are probably so productive because they live in a matriarch. The males, also known as drones, are solely used for reproduction. They don’t even have stingers or gather nectar. Their life is short and their only partner isn’t even loyal. The first and last time these males get to mate, they are at a site with thousands of other drones. Obviously the guest of honor is the queen bee. There she waits for every male to stick her with his endophallus and ejaculate. After the male is done, rather than being happy about losing his virginity, he dies. When he tries to pull the endophallus out it will stay stuck inside the queen. Meaning that this poor little bee’s abdomen was ripped from his body. Barry the Bee would have been dead way before he could have found his human lover.
3) Brown Antechinus: The lethal orgy
Source of photo: http://www.ecanadanow.com/science/2014/02/24/marsu...
Bees aren’t the only guys who would die for love (or sex). The Brown Antechinus goes hardcore when it comes to their mating rituals. These marsupials come together during mating season, and have a full blown orgy. It’s like every frat boy’s dream except there is a catch. Once it is over, the girls walk away feeling good. But the males are all dead. This orgy is aggressive and lasts about twelve hours. The males will bite the female’s necks and even fight each other. They hop from one girl to the next. After a half day of nature's version of S&M, their immune systems collapse. Who could possibly bare 12 hours of long, violent sex? The women. They're strong enough to handle it because the girls are the key to reproduction. The boys are just too weak, but at least they go out with a bang (literally).
4) Bonobos: Sex has no stigma
Source of Photo: age fotostock/Alamy Stock Photo
These mammals have a sex drive as high as a thirty-year old virgin. The only difference is that the bonobos get some real action, but sex is also seen more as a polite gesture because it is so common. Genital stimulation to them is kind of like a high five or wave to us. The constant sexual interactions are not solely for procreation. Although the actions are intimate, the context is not. Like for instance sometimes they touch each other to prevent fights or decrease tension. Despite trying to limit fights, bonobos still tend to be quite aggressive. Females have been known bite off fingers and even penises of the males. It could be because they're aggressive, or maybe these girls are just really kinky. Homosexual intercourse is also common between both genders. Males often engage in anal sex, touching each others testicles, even fencing their penises. Just like some countries, the bonobos don't try to hide sex. They scream it loud and proud. America seems to be the only one that is so secretive and embarrassed by the idea of sex.
5) Porcupines:a rare experience
Source of photo: http://mainlinecounselingpartners.com/porcupines-c...
Unlike the bonobos, it is very uncommon for porcupines to have sex. Their only use for sex is to reproduce, which means that it only makes sense to have sex during mating season. Since most of the year the females aren't getting any action, they have a membrane covering their vagina. During mating season the membrane will dissolve and secrete mucus and urine. This will attract the males. A bunch of guys surround the girl waiting for her to be ready to ovulate. During this time they will fight each other, the victorious male is supposed to get the girl. So he tries to seduce her by urinating on her. If she is into it she will succumb to his gestures. If she is not into it she will shake off the urine or run away. The male usually always understands her gestures and will not pursue further if she does not consent. It's crazy how animals understand consent but some people don't. Porcupines are not monogamous. So while the female is waiting seven months to have children, the father goes out looking for other women to impregnate. But since it's all about procreation, the girls probably don't care about their unfaithful partner.
6) Hyenas: F the patriarch
Source of Photo: http://king-animal.blogspot.com/2012/09/hyena.html
Another Matriarch among the animal kingdom. Hyena females tend to be bigger, stronger and faster than the males. Instead of having sex through the vagina, they have sex with their 7 inch clitoris. But they don't use it as a penis, they actually birth out of it like a vagina. But while the vagina stretches, the clitoral canal is extremely small. This makes it difficult the males to actually enter their partner. Just like people, it takes a lot of practice to become good at it. However, with time and practice, hyenas will mate with each other. You may think the sex was hard but the birth is even worse. The cubs tear through the opening, and this is usually fatal so it is common for new mothers to die during birth. But then they'll have just bore another badass female cub who will live on the matriarch legacy.
7) Anglerfish:The clingers
Source of Photo: http://www.discoverychannel.com.au/images/terrifyi...
These are probably one of the ugliest creatures in the sea. Luckily the males don't have to use their charming good looks to seduce their woman. They actually don't have any redeeming qualities about themselves. The males don't even have a digestive system. Once they hatch from their egg it is crucial for them to latch onto the female. So they don't really seduce their lady, they just cling onto them. Yet, an incredibly small percentage of males actually latch on to a female. Most die as a hungry virgin. When they do find a female, the male will bite her belly. He will release an enzyme that helps fuse his skin to hers. After the odd experience, he forever becomes a part of her body. Clinging onto his girl, needing her for everything and showing zero benefit of having him. Sounds like a real boyfriend.
8) Clownfish: Nemo's gender fluid
Source of photo: https://www.ocellarisclownfish.com/ocellaris-clown...
As expected, Finding Nemo is not as biologically correct as we may think. When clownfish are born, they are all born as males. So it makes sense that Nemo is a little boy, but his dad should actually be his mom. The group of clownfish is led by a female. Once the female dies, the dominant male of the group turns into a female. So since nobody was left for Marlin and Nemo, then Marlin should have turned into a woman. Once the male becomes a female, she will still have a male apprentice. This is the most dominant male and the only male that gets to breed with the female. Once eggs have been laid, it can be common for the dominant male clownfish to eat some of the damaged or infertile eggs. Nemo’s egg was damaged, so Marlin should have eaten him, but Marlin also should have turned into a girl. Finding Nemo: defying gender roles and stereotypes since 2003.
Source of photo: https://www.whatsthatbug.com/2010/04/21/spotted-le...
If someone ever gets to actually see intimacy between two leopard slugs, they probably wouldn’t even realize mating is going on. The mating usually occurs after dark so it is rarely seen by humans. When mating occurs the slug must hang upside down from a strip of mucus. Hanging upside down helps them extend their penises from their head openings. Their penises are as large as their bodies. Their excessive genital size is so they can wrap their penises around each other to fertilize the eggs. However, they can wrap themselves up in their penises too since they are hermaphrodites, so they can fertilizing on their own. In the case of feeling frisky, slugs will mate with other slugs. It's not really gross to see because you can't even tell what is going on. Just be fascinated by the pretty blue mucus that is kind of gross but also has a nice aesthetic.
10) Desert Grassland Whiptail lizard: The L word: lizard edition
Source of photo: http://www.reptilesofaz.org/Lizards-Subpages/h-a-u...
A world without men is a pretty damn good world for some women and all radical feminists. In radical feminism, women isolate themselves from all males. The whiptail lizard has evolved to do the same. These gals live in a full blown lesbian lizard world. Despite not having males, these girls can still reproduce. They’re independent lizards who don’t need no man. Literally! To reproduce these ladies still need some action though. The ritual consists of females biting and humping each other. This lesbian foreplay helps the little lizards produce unfertilized eggs. Since there is no father, the offspring is actually a clone of its mother. There is a possibility for some of these lizards to be straight. Not common, but they can breed with males of other whiptail species rather than females. It is a judge free zone, but if they can reproduce without men, more power to them!
