These days, we have become comfortable enough with browsing the Internet that we rarely stop and question how safe we really are. The truth is, malicious viruses are still running rampant throughout the World Wide Web. For example, if you go up to your URL address bar and type "theodysseyonline.com," then your computer will immediately be flooded with today's newest and most dangerous viruses (hint: to avoid this, NEVER go directly to "theodysseyonline.com"). Over the past couple weeks, this site has given my computer some pretty strange viruses...
1. A pop-up screen tells me that my computer has been infected by spyware and a virus
This happens every single time that I write "theodysseyonline.com," even if it is just in an email to my grandmother.
2. A pop-up screen tells me that I have won a vague amount of money
I was minding my own business on "theodysseyonline.com" one day, and suddenly I was given some terrific news! Unfortunately, though, I never got the money. All I got was a virus from "theodysseyonline.com."
3. My word processor suddenly opens and types the complete text of Homer's "The Odyssey"
All I did was write the dreaded "www.the" and my network browser did the rest: "oddyseyonline.com." Microsoft Word was ready to show me Homer's The Odyssey faster than I could say "Microsoft Word, please do not show me Homer's The Odyssey."
4. A new tab opens, showing me Victoria Secret's most beautiful women
My girlfriend actually believed this. Good thing I had "theodysseyonline.com" to use as a scapegoat!
5. My Facebook friends all refer to me as "Rick" and post on my wall as if it is my birthday
Prior to visiting the website "theodysseyonline.com," my Facebook friends consistently got my name and birthday correct. Now, things will never be the same again.
6. A hitman shows up at my house and confirms that Antonin Scalia is dead
I've heard this is a pretty common problem, at least for people who have written "theodysseyonline.com" into their URL address bar.
7. The timer for the chicken nuggets goes off five minutes too late
They say that computer viruses can completely ruin your life. Boy, were they correct. (Source: theoddyseyonline.com.)
8. My brother butt-dials me every day at 4:17 PM
This is really just a minor annoyance, but I couldn't help but notice that this never happened in the good old pre-"theodysseyonline.com" days.
9. A dragon destroys my computer, conquers my village, and steals my girlfriend
This has only happened to me three times, but, perhaps coincidentally, each time was preceded by me opening my web browser to "theodysseyonline.com." At least I get more free time with Victoria Secret advertisements.
10. My social media accounts become filled with meaningless jokes that will never make me feel the joy that I seek to pull out of others
That's right..."theodysseyonline.com" made my life rather worthless.
