Every day in my writing class we have a “question of the day.” Our professor asks us all things like, “cats or dogs” (a question I hate because why can’t it be both?) and “if you could visit anywhere in the world where would you go?” It’s his way of making attendance mildly interesting. Friday’s question was, “What is your favorite word?” I thought this would be a particularly easy question for me, especially since I love to write. But I sat there stumped. For some reason the word “chamomile” instantly came to mind but I didn’t really know why, and I doubted it actually was my favorite word. Ever since, I’ve been on a quest to find my favorite word. In my search, I’ve found some weird, definitely underused and underrated words that could be fun to incorporate into daily conversation. Below are some of my favorites, as defined by the Oxford dictionary.
1. Blatherskite
(Noun) A person who talks at great length without making much sense.
Why call someone an outspoken idiot when you can call them a blatherskite? I love this one because it does not just imply that someone’s words are nonsensical, but they also won’t shut up. I’m sure we all know that person. Damn blatherskites!
2. Callipygian
(Adjective) Having well-shaped buttocks.
I can see it now, rap songs dominated by this word instead of ‘big booty’.
"Booty booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere" becomes “callipygian ladies squatting everywhere."
3. Chad (not the country)
To anyone named Chad out there: take this how you will. Your name means “a piece of waste paper produced by punching a hole.” Yeah, you know those itty bitty paper holes that get left behind when you have to use a hole punch? Those little guys are all chads. Don’t you hate it when chads litter your desk?
4. Cryptozoology
(Mass noun) The search for and study of animals whose existence or survival is disputed or unsubstantiated, such as the Loch Ness monster and the yeti.
Imagine that family reunion where you tell everyone you’re studying to be a cryptozoologist. “In class today we dissected a real mermaid tail, I swear Grandma.”
5. Cybersquatting
(Noun) The practice of registering well-known names as Internet domain names, in the hope of reselling them at a profit.
This is actually a huge issue for companies, famous people, etc. Check out some famous cases here. Microsoft got more than a little pissed when, for example, this Canadian guy named Mike Rowe decided to make MikeRoweSoft.com. Needless to say, this did not end well for poor Mike Rowe. Cybersquatting laws have been put in place to keep this from happening and cybersquatters face penalties when they get caught cybersquatting. Isn’t cybersquatting fun to say?
6. Degust
(Verb) To taste something carefully to appreciate it fully.
It seems odd that a word implying the appreciation of a taste sounds like ‘disgust’. Nevertheless, it’s a useful word. It’s perfect for moms everywhere who want their kids to stop scarfing down their dinners.
7. Deterge
(Verb) To cleanse thoroughly.
Hey, so that’s where detergent comes from! Next time you’re taking a much-needed shower the morning after a night out, remind yourself you do not merely clean yourself: you deterge yourself from the night’s escapades.
8. Eucatastrophe
(Noun) A sudden and favorable resolution of events in a story; a happy ending.
And everyone lived ‘eucatastrophly' ever after.
9. Triskaidekaphobia
(Noun) Extreme superstition regarding the number 13.
This word’s just fun to say and super specific.
“Why aren’t you leaving your apartment today, Jimmy? I know it's Friday the 13th but...”
“Triskaidekaphobia is a hell of a condition, Carl.”
10. Winebibber
(Noun) A habitual drinker of alcohol.
A MUCH better way of calling someone a low-key alcoholic.
So there you have it! Now you can be sure to tell that blatherskite who sits next to you in class to stop pushing his chads onto your desk and that you know he's a winebibber who studies cryptozoology, which isn't a real science anyway.