It’s that time of year again, it's finally warm enough for everyone to ditch their winter coats and break out the sundresses, jorts, tank tops, and jean jackets. But that means it’s also time to dust off that tapestry you bought on sale at Urban last summer cause Edies is open!
As an avid people watcher, I’ve noticed that there are certain types of people that gravitate towards each other on the beloved patch of grass next to Keating. While some are fairly harmless there are definitely groups to steer away from. Before you head out to bake in the sun check this guide to make sure you are sitting next to the right people.
1. The Frat Boy
The Frat Boy is easily identifiable with sunglasses, typically not wearing a shirt, but if he is it’s a basketball jersey or a tank top. He definitely missed class to be here and won't shut up about it. Other talking points include how drunk he got at howl last weekend, the NBA playoffs, or fortnight. The Frat Boy is out as long as the sun is out, spending the entire day there with his bros. The Frat Boy can be harmless but beware of them when under the influence as they can become a rowdy when interacting with other Frat Boys
2. The Sunbather
The most popular person on Eddies is the Sunbather, they are usually a girl wearing a sports bra and shorts or a flashy bathing suit, typically set up near the frat boy or laid out in the center of the field in direct sunlight, to create an even tan that they can show off at Mugz that weekend. The Sunbather usually only stays for 1-3 hours and is completely harmless
3. The “I'm only here to get drunk” Kid
This person is only ever seen with a beer in hand, usually a corona with lime or a Bud Light tall boy. They made the trip to Rams and brought the cooler and is encouraging all of their friends to catch up with them. The “I’m only here to get drunk” Kid will definitely talk about how drunk they are and be present as long as the drinks are flowing. Beware they will get more dangerous the more that they drink.
4. The Frisbee Kid
The Frisbee Kid will ultimately hit you in the face with the frisbee -- or be asked to throw the ball back when it goes over their heads, making them the most dangerous bunch to sit next to. The same can be implied with anyone throwing a football, baseball, really any kind of round object Stay far away from this pair. The Frisbee Kid has a 2-hour max presence on eddies, but be careful, as you may be unaware of the presence of one. But once someone breaks a ball out it's all over
5. The Person There to Actually do Homework
The Person There to Actually do Homework is a rarity on Eddies and can be spotted with their head down on their laptop with their entire backpack open next to them. They have completely moved into the space, notecards blowing in the wind, surrounded by textbooks. The Person who’s There to Actually do Homework usually sits on the edges of Eddie's under a tree and doesn’t stay for very long, 1-2 hours max, as they are there in between classes anyway.
6. Spike Ball Tournament
The Spike Ball Tournament is like observing The Frat Boy and The Frisbee Kid combined for a not so friendly game of spike ball. But unlike the traditional Frisbee Kid, you can see them coming from a mile away and they will take up an entire corner of Eddies to make room for the game as well as the spectators.
The tournament could be here all day, best 2 out of three based on the competitiveness of the players, and can be more hazardous than both The Frat Boy and The Frisbee Kid dude to the rowdy-ness and the likelihood to get hit with the ball.
7. The Camper
The Camper is that one friend who has essentially set up camp for the rest of the friend group. They have been out here since 9 am, and have set up all of the eddies essentials: a speaker, various blankets layered to create on a giant super blanket, lawn chairs, a backpack full of snacks. Groups of people rotate in and out of this central spot so expect them to be there all day. They are usually completely harmless as long as you are ok with large groups.
8. The Person Playing Music Too Loud
This could be one person or a group of people but they are definitely one of the more annoying groups on campus as they have no regard for the groups surrounding them. They will bring out their speaker and blast whatever music they want, typically the top 40 playlists on Spotify. They will also be constantly calling over friends that they see walking by to come and join them in the middle of the field. This group is hazardous to the introvert but can get along quite well with extroverts
9. The Pot Heads
This group is pretty self-explanatory. You can see the smoke from across eddies, and smell them as you are walking by. They are totally harmless… as long as you are not trying to get any work done
10. The Wanderer
This person can be easily identifiable as one of two people. The Wander is either the person searching for their one group of friends, arm in the air the other clutching a cell phone to their ear as they scan over the field usually doing two loops before actually finding them. The other version of The Wanderer doesn't have a real group of friends and hops between friend groups across eddies sometimes combining two of them.
Which one are you?
