In a similar way to contact information—like of that Crossfit Gym you decided wasn't for you—I feel like people are starting to hoard group messages. When are you ever going to need to message your study group from freshman comp? While most of us have at least one bumping group text with our squad, we also often have one or more chats that we just never bothered to leave. Do you fall into any of these iMessage archetypes in your side chats?
1. The Ghost
AKA the reason why the group message has a dozen numbers listed and yet only six active participants. Look, there's no shame here. We've all ghosted a group chat before. If you haven't sent, liked, or responded in a few weeks, and especially if you have the notifications muted, it might be time to just make like the EU and Brexit. Your phone memory will thank you.
2. The Promoter
For all your BOGO, car wash, ladies drink free, bake sale, holiday fundraiser needs, The Promoter is plugged in and by extension, so is your group chat. The endless stream of flyers can be a pain, but you know you're not complaining when your org has an event coming up #promo4promo
3. The Master Debater
Typically the same dude in your breakout session, this person just can't let an opportunity to play devil's advocate slide. Entertaining at best and the dismantling of the group chat at worst, engage at your own risk.
4. The GIF Guru
A picture is worth a thousand words, and for some people, gifs mean never having to say anything at all. Ever again. The GIF Guru is the person whose every emotion, reaction, supposition can all be conveyed in GIF form, often laggy, pixelated GIFs which eat up your data.
5. The Crisis
Kind of like the yang to The Ghost's yin, this person posts in the group message fairly frequently, but only ever in a tone that implies URGENCY. Whether they have to borrow an iClicker or just need to know how crowded Club Lib is, the group chat is their 24/7 SOS hotline.
6. The Liker
They may not be good in a discussion, but I definitely see the active Likers as a group chat staple. When your totally punny joke lands flat, or nobody answers your general question, you'll be thankful for the silent support of Likers.
7. The 180
As an English minor, I've met quite a few people whose writing belies their monosyllabic nature. With texting, there are definitely those who excel given the time to think through their responses, and definitely those whose minimalist texting style comes off a bit militant.
8. The "Wrong Group, My B"
The accidental text sent to the wrong group somewhere around cocktail hour is something I consider a solid fringe benefit of group messages. You learn so much about a person from their out of context texts.
9. The Emoji
I'm definitely one of those people that double check a convo if someone comes off as snappy, and for me snappy is a distinct lack of emojis or lols. But, listen. Just because there are more than 800 emojis, doesn't mean you have to use them all.
10. The Non-Sequitur
Not all group messages have to be lit, but there's always that one person who makes the attempt to carry the conversation, no matter how thin the connection between topics. All the participation points.
