1. Don’t stay in your room alone when you first move in, even if that means sitting out in public alone.
The longer you spend sitting alone on your bed after move-in, the harder it is to get up and go out on campus. There’s something about just sitting in the library and being around people that can make you feel better about being in a new place. So even if you don’t talk to a single person while you’re out – you still took a big step and did something, and that’s important.
2. Go to the activities fair, write your email on a bunch of lists, try out for things.
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If you like to play soccer, if you like to sing – try out for an intramural team, or audition for an acapella group. Even if you don’t get it, just going and putting yourself out there really helps your confidence and you might meet people, too. And who doesn’t love getting emails from clubs inviting you out to things. Go to some meetings, you’ll find one you like for sure.
3. If you need to grab a meal alone because you can’t find somebody to drag with you, don’t feel embarrassed at the dining hall.
Nobody is staring at you or judging you for eating breakfast solo, honestly. It’s easy to get up in your own head and psych yourself out about it, but everyone is so concerned with themselves and what they have going on that nobody has time to scrutinize your eating habits.
4. Go to your TA’s offices hours and talk to your professors.
Getting good grades when you’re starting fresh at a new school is important for making you feel like you belong again. Not to mention, interacting with really smart people gets you thinking and keeps your brain happy. Your TA and your professor for every class genuinely want to see you succeed and help you out.
5. Your RA is a brilliant resource for meeting new people and finding out about things on campus.
Sometimes there will be floor-wide trips to the dining commons, or to a sporting event. This is a great way to meet new people on your floor. Your RA is also there to answer any questions you might have and they give great advice.
6. Sometimes there will be things that have got you down about being in a new place and you don’t have “your people” there yet – that’s what the counseling center is for.
This is especially crucial if you find yourself having a hard time or feeling especially lonely. Just having somebody to sit with you and let you talk about whatever you want helps. It can keep you grounded and put everything in perspective. Mental health is essential.
7. Painful as small talk may be, make small talk with people around you in class – everyone likes new friends!
Oftentimes, the first day of class is full of introductions. You might hear somebody introduce themselves as a transfer as well; they’d be a great person to catch up with after class. Or just chat with the people next to you before the professor shows up, introduce yourself, be friendly – spoiler alert: they’ll be nice back.
8. Calling somebody from home to vent about your new school can be really comforting, but sometimes it also makes you sadder.
Sometimes you really just need to FaceTime your best friend so you can ugly cry to them, but if you find yourself doing this all the time, that would be the time to stop. It’s important to have positive phone calls with people from home and not just sad ones. And don’t forget to keep your head where you’re at now, this is a new school full of new opportunities – getting stuck in another place could hold you back.
9. Pursue your passions and don’t be intimidated by the students that have been at this school since year one.
It’s easy to think of yourself as a born-again-freshman and think you’re not deserving of acting like you belong, too. That isn’t true, this is your school now and that means you’re just as entitled to campus resources as everyone else. It’s easy to be shy about it, but there really is no need. Go to gym classes, hangout in your major’s department, live your best academic life with zero guilt or obligation.
10. Understand that this is going to be a trying and challenging experience, but after awhile you’ll be even stronger than you were beforehand.
Transferring is hard. Nobody tells you that from the beginning. While it might be intimidating, this is one of those things that will happen in your life to test your strength. You’ll be strong enough, I promise. From one transfer to another, I guarantee that even if it doesn’t get easier every day it will get more manageable. You will find your people, you will fit into your place, but don’t give yourself a deadline for that. Go at your own pace and let yourself be happy. And congratulations on the new school!
