It's the most wonderful time of the year! Fall. Christmas is magical and wonderful in itself, but to avoid criticism for celebrating too soon (as if Christmas could ever come too soon) I'm talking about fall. I already highlighted the season's glory a couple of weeks ago, but today I'm highlighting the downfall of the season - the Delta Crud. As a freshman at Delta State, the Delta Crud was a distant worry; I was inexperienced with the delta's seasonal allergies, bacterial infections, and ultimate crud. The Delta Crud is a mysterious illness conjured up from the nearby harvested cotton fields, traffic of sneezing students, and other ungodly encountered misfortunes like stress, lack of hot water, and sleep deprivation. Sometimes it even hits those that get the recommended eight hours and bathe in germ-ex. Its symptoms are synonymous with typical allergies and the common cold, but between day four and day seven you know it's a much more serious diagnosis and the prognosis is unknown. You may miss an 8 a.m., you may not make it to class at all - for a week straight. How do you survive the infamous, extremely tangible Delta Crud? How do you avoid appearing like a total zombie on the day of a presentation or important meeting? Having experienced and somehow surviving the Crud several times over the past three years, I've got a few tips to help you. Whether this is your tenth time to struggle through or your first time to come to terms with the Crud, listen up.
1. Deny, Deny, Deny![]()
At first, you'll deny that the Crud exists. Then, you'll see your classmates drop like flies. You'll deny you're susceptible to it. You'll deny that you're afraid. You'll deny when it finally claims you as its next victim. Once you've fiddled with denial, you need to accept that you have the Crud.
2. Accept
RIP. You have the Crud like the majority of students and professors on campus. Now that you've accepted it, you can figure out your game plan on how to cope, treat, and survive.
3. Attack
Figure out which medications work best for you. My suggestions (unless you're allergic or have adverse reactions) are DayQuil, NyQuil, Tylenol Cold and Flu, and the disgusting but effective Netti Pot.
4. Hydrate
I don't care if you drink water or gatorade, hydrate! Your body needs it (side note: splash yourself with water to feel a tinsy bit more awake and alert).
5. Comfort over Campus Casual
There are days when you are confident in your skinny jeans, favorite sweater and ankle boots. This is not one of those days. If you're up to it, rub lotion on your face and a rosy lip balm over your lips. Don't fool with mascara - watery eyes will only become more irritated and further redden your puffy eyes. Pull up your sweat pants, throw on your sweatshirt, lace up your comfy kicks, and spray dry shampoo on that rolled-out-of-bed hair.
Extra tip: the bigger the sweatshirt, the more room to sneeze into the folds of your sleeve rather than your lucky classmate's sterile bubble.
6. Nap
Though your personal bed is preferable, nap wherever and whenever to restore your diminished energy.
7. When necessary, email your professor and skip.
These are the days where skipping is more of a necessity than a last minute decision. More than likely, our professors understood the contagious Delta Crud and don't want you to come to class either.
8. Call your mom.
Calling your mom to complain about your body's failing immune system always seems to help in some weird way. You may get a care package with chicken noodle soup and fuzzy socks. You may get a simple, "I'm so sorry! I love you!" Either way, your spirit is somewhat boosted.
9. Trick your body with your brain.
Tell yourself that you refuse to be sick any longer, that you will feel better in the morning and face the falling leaves and surrounding wheezing of other students' ailment. Your'e stronger mentally than you are physically right now; besides, the world needs you!
10. If all else fails, collapse and don't move.
This is general college advice pertaining to any detrimental situation. However in this case, if it lasts for more than a week and a half, you may want to follow up with your healthcare provider. Sinus cocktail shot, here you come!
If you're like me who hasn't fallen victim so far this season, keep bathing in germ-ex and protecting your germ-free bubble. We know the time is coming when our immune system may be invaded, but today is not that day! For those of you crawling to class with tissues wadded up and falling out of your pockets, good luck.
Get well soon, fellow Statesmen and Cleveland community!
