2022 wasn't easy for anyone. What is awaiting for us in 2023? There will always be another mess to clean or another setback to worry about. But if we embrace this messy uncertain life and decide to move forward no matter what, we can see its beauty. With this attitude, we not only move forward in life irrespective of our problems, but we also fly above them.
This perseverance to accept life how it is and move forward no matter the circumstances is what we call our audacious resilience. Dr. Neeta Bhushan explores this audacious resilience in her book "That Sucked, Now What?"
This book contains lessons that will help you deal with unpleasant situations. You will learn to accept life, the reason behind our reactions to certain things, and how to deal with them gracefully.
I have compiled a list of the ten best tips from the book to help you live a beautiful and joyous life.
1."You should stop taking things personally and start taking personal responsibility instead."
When we take things personally, it means that we are projecting our insecurities and fears onto a situation. On the other hand, when we take "personal responsibility," we learn to accept the position. We stop making excuses and move forward in life.
2."Resilience should not be attached to greater things only. It is also the courage to tackle everyday situations well."
People tend to compare their life and journey with other people. They also compare their traumas. 'If he went through a life-altering problem, why can't I deal with trivial shit?' That is a wrong mentality to have. There are no criteria to decide what defines your threshold for pain and hurt. Therefore, resilience is not limited to big problems. It is an everyday attribute and quality of life.
3."The best way to face those inescapable sucky moments is with a sense of self-regulation, a strong connection to what we want and value in life, and a tight leash for our ego."
It is easy to fall prey to the victim mentality when we encounter trouble. It is our ego protecting us from hurt. Fear is the basis of the victim mentality. We are afraid to face our feelings and avoid them by blaming everyone else. But playing the victim card does not help us escape our situation.
4."Our youngest years shape our sense of power and influence whether we end up with an internal or external locus of control."
Our upbringing affects our innate response to problems. The coping mechanism we develop as adults is connected to our learned behavior as children.
5."Sometimes slowing down a bit in a race can help you catch a few breaths and recalibrate yourself."
Life is not a mission you have to accomplish by surviving. You are supposed to enjoy every stage, despite the constant curveballs. You are meant to thrive and make the most of every moment.
6."Self-awareness of your environment can take the form of mindfulness, of checking in with who and what surrounds you in a given moment."
Self-awareness can help you shift the direction of your thinking. People learn what triggers them and how to deal with a situation positively. They become aware of their internal trauma and feelings.
7."Do not be afraid of falling. Failure is a catalyst that brings real, lasting, and audaciously resilient change."
We resent difficult times because of the uncertainty, loss, and hardships that come with them. But we should realize that the actual change in our life comes from these situations. It is easy to fall back into our routine. We are comfortable in our monotonic life because it is familiar. Yes, there are bad days, but we deal with them because of familiarity. Changes during difficult times may bring better days.
8."Admit that you need help when you find yourself in such a situation. It can be empowering."
Sometimes, we go to great lengths to avoid asking for help. Asking for help makes us seem weak and vulnerable. There is nothing wrong in admitting our inability to perform a task. Seeking help means that we acknowledge our shortcomings. No human is perfect, and we should set realistic standards for ourselves.
9."Knowing why something matters to you and then doing it will give you that feel-good rush—positive emotions."
Our emotions play a crucial part in our actions and reactions. We tend to gravitate towards what makes us happy, bringing us that rush of joy and satisfaction.
10."There's no limit to how far you can fly forward."
When we set goals for ourselves, we think accomplishing them changes everything. Suddenly, we will be happier, and all our problems will disappear. However, that is not true. There is always a mountain to conquer, a new skill to master, an obstacle to face, and a lesson to learn.
Dr. Neeta Bhushan’s book "That Sucked, Now What?" is a great reminder to all of us that those oh-no-oh-crap moments in the life that knock us down are also beautiful opportunities for change.
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