Dating a writer is a challenge that most people don't realize they're signing up for until it happens. While it can prove to be quite difficult, there are some pro's to dating a writer, as well. I've listed some helpful tips for those of you willing to take a chance on a writer.
1. No, my character is not based off of you.
Despite popular belief, writers can come up with characters on their own and tend to do that. It's risky business basing a good friendship/relationship off of someone in your life because things could go south and then you're stuck with this amazing character who isn't that person anymore. Moreover, if you do find a writer basing a character about you odds are it's not a great character with an awful personality.
2. I will not text or call you back for hours.
If I sit down at a computer or with a notebook in front of me and I have many thoughts to get down on paper I'm not worried about my phone. If I'm writing at home then I probably don't even know where my phone is, honestly. Please, don't take this the wrong way. Some words are so loud that they need to be written down before they are forgotten. I promise you that once I am worn out from giving my all to a pen and some paper that I will text you back and apologize for being absent.
3. Don't read anything without asking beforehand.
There are many pieces I have that are not finished or that I just don't think are very good and I don't want to share those with the world. If you ever find yourself in front of my Google Docs and decide to read something without asking me first then I promise that there will be some issues. Also, most of the time if you ask me to read a piece and I'm not happy with it I will say something along the lines of, "I mean, yeah, but I don't think it's very good so don't judge me because of it." All ya gotta do is ask.
4. I'm going to have pieces rejected and I'm going to need you to love me through it.
Getting a rejection e-mail is never fun and it never gets easier. I could be having the best day of my life and come home to a rejection and my mood will do a total 180. Instead of telling me that it's "their loss" take me to get a coffee or go for a hike to get my mind off of it. Rejection happens, but I just need you to be there and give me a little extra love.
5. Don't lie to me about my work.
If I have an idea for a story or for a point in my plot and I share it with you don't tell me that it's the best thing you've ever heard when you think that I could improve it. I share things with you because I want to know what you genuinely think. I'm never going to improve my writing if I'm told that every idea I have is pure gold and I need to write it down immediately. (Also, if I'm told every idea is amazing then it's just going to make the rejection process so much more difficult.)
6. I will tell you the best stories.
A lot of writers have this "do anything for a story" attitude and that puts us into a lot of sticky, but most of the time hilarious, situations. I can sit down and tell you countless stories that probably don't even seem possible, but I assure you they are. I can tell you all about running into my high school boyfriend at a frat party to that one incident with my neighbor's security cameras; the stories never end.
7. If we break up, I'm probably going to make a blog post about it.
People love reading about sad things, ya know? But in all seriousness, some of my best work comes from sad experiences I have had throughout my life and our break up would probably be no exception. I don't feel like a story with another person is put to rest until I sit down and write down what I'm feeling and what I hope for the future. I just like sharing my vulnerability with the entire world.
8. Skip the shoes and buy me a book instead.
There is never a moment in time that my Amazon shopping cart is filled with anything less than $50 worth of books. Take time and ask me what I'm interested in reading next and surprise me with a $15 book rather than an expensive whatever, because I promise you that I'll appreciate the book more. (Side note: pens and notebooks are also super rad gifts.)
9. Learn the difference between they're, there and their.
I wish that at twenty years old I wouldn't have to say this, but here I am.
10. I'll love you a lot deeper than most people.
Being a writer means spending a lot of time in your own head. That means I'm left with just me and my thoughts mostly and if I'm interested in you, then you'll find yourself in my thoughts here and there. I'll notice little things about you and write them down so I won't forget them. I'll pay attention to the way you speak and the words you choose. I'll write you notes to express my feelings because I'm honestly so much better at showing emotion on paper than I am talking face to face. I'll want to learn everything about you and I'll want my "do anything for a story" stories to include you. I'll just want to know you.
