1. Take time to grieve and build yourself back up again.

I took a year and a half, but feel free to take five f***ing years if you want to. When you're ready to date, I promise you that you will know. Instead of looking for someone to fill a deep, empty void, you'll be looking for someone to share real memories with. These horrible relationships drain the hell out of you and for the amount of time you spend on that relationship, you're doing everything but focusing on yourself. Your happiness and sanity should always come before anyone else and that is okay if it didn't for a while, but ALLOW it to come first right now. You need time to focus on yourself after a toxic, emotionally draining relationship.

2. It is okay to not listen to your gut all the time.

Chances are that if you just broke up with a toxic, manipulative person, your gut is screaming do not trust them to every man that you meet. I know this sounds so contradicting to what you have always heard before. Yes, always trust your gut when you think something is truly wrong and you may be in danger. However, I know firsthand how much being in a crazy relationship can cause you to doubt everyone around you. Will he ditch me? No, that was your ex. Will he break my heart? No, that was your ex. Not everyone will be like your ex and thats a good thing. That is why you are single and exploring the dating world.

3. Never doubt your wants and needs in a relationship.

Chances are that someone a long time ago told you that you were crazy for the things you felt you needed to be in a successful relationship. You aren’t. Everyone’s needs are different in a relationship and just because someone made you feel crazy before doesn't mean you actually are crazy. Be confident and never apologize for your needs.

4. Be verbal about your wants, needs, and expectations in a relationship.

Again, you probably spent your whole last relationship being told that the wants and expectations that were verbalized made you crazy or too demanding. They don’t, but that also doesn't mean you should automatically expect someone you started dating a month ago to read your mind. It doesn't work like that. We are all adults and that means you should have the ability to verbalize what you expect.

5. It is OKAY TO BE ANGRY.

Most manipulative people will try to put all of the blame on the other person. You have probably been feeling this way for months or years, or even your whole life for some of us. Remember, you have a right to your emotions and no person can ever take that away from you. It’s okay to be angry at the person you're dating if they f*** up.

6. If they're dating you, this person looks forward to hearing from you.

Maybe the person that dated you before didn't like hearing from you or even made you feel guilty for the amount of communication you expected. Communication is key to any lasting relationship and if the person you're dating does not like communicating with you, that should immediately be a red flag. This also does not give anyone an excuse to call their significant other a million times a day. It simply means that the person you're dating should want to speak to you consistently and should know your wants and needs in communicating with the other person.

7. Be open to the idea that someone can be an amazing person, but not the person for you.

I went on one the craziest dates ever after I broke up with my ex. Although the guy was tons of fun, a great person, and fun to date, he wasn't the one for me. Don't force a relationship when it just isn't there. Allow yourself to have all the fun in the world, but never feel obligated to date someone because they are simply a good or fun person. The person can be amazing, but if they are not the person for you, you do not have to date them.

8. Understand that it may take a few dates or some talking to someone before you warm up to feeling comfortable.

When you first get out of a hard relationship, it can be hard to imagine a future with someone. Personally, I closed myself off to any relationships for almost a year. It wasn't that I wasn't over my ex, it was that I needed time to warm myself up to building a future with someone after I had been put through hell and back. I would encourage a lengthy time period of not dating for anyone who has been through a very toxic or emotionally draining relationship. Either way, it will take some warming up to dating again. When I started dating again, it took me about three dates with the same guy and another date with a separate guy to finally feel comfortable again.

9. Try to relax.

The first time you get out of a serious, emotionally draining relationship and dive back into the dating pool, you will be freaking out. I can almost guarantee that. You will be wondering what to wear, what the other person is thinking, will they turn out to be crazy? Who knows, but do your best to relax and have a good time, as hard as it sounds.

10. HAVE FUN.

Dating is all about having fun! Try to relax and remember that even if this date turns out horrible, you will always have a good story to tell your friends. I have many and my friends LOVE hearing them!