The gym is voluntary medieval torture, yet at least three times a week I put myself through a grueling half an hour of running without really going anywhere. Yes, I'm talking about the treadmill. If you have one in your home it is likely the thing that you put all your laundry on. If you have ever seen one in a gym it is likely the thing you imagine you would have in your home to put your laundry on. Fortunately, I have access to many a treadmill here at Oberlin College. Fortunately, I take advantage of these many treadmills. Fortunately, by using these many treadmills it means I might be "getting in shape". Unfortunately, I have a terrible attitude. To demonstrate, here are 10 of my best treadmill thoughts:
1. UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGH.
2. UUUUUuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUuuUUUUUUuuuUGH!!!!!!!!!!
3. (out of breath)
4. UUUGG GGGh!!!!!!
5. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHFJKDSLFJDKLSAFJDKSLF;FJDKLA;F!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Oh, god, everyone else is judging me for how slow I'm jogging.
7. Oh, god, now I'm running.
8. OH, GOD, NOW I'M RUNNING. THANKS, SOCIAL ANXIETY, FOR PUSHING ME INTO RUNNING.
9. Oh, god, is Steve Bannon, known antisemite and white supremacist actually running our country?
Is he truly pulling the strings, guiding the little orange hands of the presidential marionette Trump? Has it really only been less than a month of this administration????? How are we supposed to move forward and resist, yet still carry on with our daily lives???? Can someone please help me so I can help America????? Why can't Josiah Bartlet be our president??? Does someone have Martin Sheen's phone number? Is donating to the ACLU and Planned Parenthood enough and other organizations enough??????? How can people actually be okay with barring Muslim refugees and green card holders and visa holders???? How can people actually make sense of the de facto war on the media????????? Are facts real anymore?????? Am I going to graduate into college and step out fresh fascist regime??????? Would I punch a Nazi? Should I punch a Nazi???????? Will the world around me be utterly changed forever? How much longer can our resistance actually go on???? Can I ever put my faith in humanity again?!!!!!!!!!????????!?!?!!??!?!!?!??! GOD HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!!
