Summer is officially here and I couldn't be happier. I look forward to beach days, late night bonfires and getting a tan (or freckling, in my case).
With the summer now in full swing, there's one matter that can get on my nerves: tourists. I live about 15 minutes away from Grand Haven, which is a lakeside town in West Michigan that is quite the tourist attraction between Memorial Day weekend and Labor Day weekend.
While tourism boosts the local economy and provides jobs, it can be a huge pain in the ass. Why? I'll tell you through some gifs from one of my favorite shows.
Here's 10 thoughts people have who live in or near a tourist town as told by The Simpsons:
1. These traffic jams are stupid
Trying to get into town during tourist season is a hassle. The road is backed up all the way to the township I live in. All I wanted to do was go to the market is get some milk. Guess I'll just sit in this traffic jam.
2. These out-of-state people don't know how to drive in my state
Um, it's called a Michigan left turn and WHY ARE YOU GOING 55 MPH ON THE FREEWAY? THE SPEED LIMIT IS 70.
3. I wish I could find a nice spot on the beach
If you don't go EARLY in the day, you're stuck with a crappy spot surrounded by the goddamn seagulls or you'll have to go after 4 p.m. Thanks, tourists.
4. There's nowhere to park downtown
Guess I'll walk a mile and a half or get a parking ticket.
5. Why does theft seem to increase during tourist season?
Correlation doesn't mean causation, but make sure you lock your cars and lock up your valuable items.
6. When the flag is red, it means STAY OUT OF LAKE MICHIGAN
Seriously, don't go swimming in Lake Michigan when the flag is red, which means hazardous swimming conditions. It is tragic when someone drowns because they made the poor choice to swim in the lake when it was dangerous to do so. According to Great Lakes Surf Rescue Project, 31 people have drowned in the Great Lakes with 17 of those drownings being in Lake Michigan so far in 2017. Of course not all of these numbers are related to swimming in hazardous conditions, but it's still better to be safe than sorry. I wouldn't even recommend swimming in the lake when the flags are yellow. The Great Lakes are beautiful, but they are unforgiving.
7. PICK UP YOUR TRASH
If you don't pick up your trash, then you can GTFO of my beautiful town and state and not come back.
8. I wish there was a table available at [insert name of popular local restaurant here]
I think I'll pass on that hour-long wait and go somewhere else.
9. Your rudeness isn't appreciated
Thankfully the majority of tourists are polite, but those that aren't can take their rudeness and piss poor behavior somewhere else.
10. At least it helps the economy
While there are several annoyances that come with living in a town that is heavy in tourism, the industry brings jobs and prosperity to the area, which is always appreciated and we're glad you like visiting our beautiful town as long as you're kind and respectful.
