Last Sunday, I made a call to my 84 year old grandmother and I do not regret what transpired. Honestly, I wish I had it recorded.

She is typically a no-filter kind of woman. A roll off the cuff kind of person. I mean she’s Italian and Irish which makes for an interesting combination of emotions. The conversation started out normally asking if I had any suitors vying for my affection, which if I am being the open book type of person, no there has been no eligible bachelors or bachelorettes quite yet. Enough about my personal life.

She opened up about how her and my Marine Core Veteran of a grandfather went out on a date to the movies. This caught me by surprise since the most intimacy they have is Sunday night football and if you consider their bickering a form of communication then their 59 year long marriage is definitely one for the psychology textbooks.

I should preface by saying I, myself, have not seen La La Land yet. I should also preface by saying her opinions are not intended to be a jab or bad review of the movie; instead, I am sharing a memorable moment I will not soon and will ever forget. In addition, I am just genuinely happy she is still around to keep me on my toes and keep my brain sharp.

The movie of choice was the almost Academy Awards winning Best Picture winner, La La Land. She only knew of the movie from a few trailers and watching almost all of the Academy Awards. After an hour of pure laughter and scribbling chicken scratch transcripts of her impressions, reactions, and genuine review of the movie on the back of a Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream take out/delivery menu, I compiled the top ten statements I could decipher.

On the Movie Economic System

1. “I paid for $10 for this and I expected to be at least decent since I love a good musical!”

2. “When I was a kid and went to the movies, it was 10 cents! Ten whole cents to watch the movie you wanted to see, two cartoons, world news, and the previews.”

Spoiler??

3. “I don’t understand how it could have possibly won Best Picture.”

[She was not aware until I told her that they did not actually win. She claimed to have stayed up way past midnight and when they finally announced Best Picture...La La Land, she turned the television off and headed to bed.]

On Best Actress, Emma Stone:

4. “A That girl, oh gosh what was her name? Emily? No, Emma something was beautiful, but I haven’t the slightest idea what she said half the time. The girl mumbles. A lot.”

On the Music:

5. “There was some jazz music where I actually thought they could play.

6. “When they danced it was magical whoever choreographed their dances really knows music.”

[I mean I should hope so...it’s their job!]

After I told her that MOONLIGHT won Best Picture:

7. “So do you think Midnight is any better? I mean it should be, but Moana didn’t win Best Animated Movie so America really doesn’t know how to do this whole voting thing.”

[Moonlight really can’t take a break, even from no-filtered grandmas.]

Too Much Information!

8. “Ryan Gosling can keep his shoes under my bed anytime.”

Supporting Spouses

9. “Gramps really liked it, but he slept through most of it. When I asked him his favorite part he said all of it!”

Final Words

10. “I won’t spoil it, but it just wasn’t what I find quality entertainment.”