Being a server has been the best and worst job. I love it because I love people, but I hate it because sometimes, well, I just really hate people. For people who like to eat out all the time, I thought I would tell you some things your server really wants you to know.
1. You aren't my only table.
I am doing my best to check on all 10 tables that I have right now. If I do not come back the second your drink is empty to refill it, I promise you, I won't let you go thirsty. So stop slurping on your straw and give me a second.
2. I forget things, too.
After you asked me for two extra Ranch dressings, a refill, to put your kid's food in before yours and to make sure your appetizer is out before everything else, it's a little tough to remember all your needs.
3. It's not my fault your food isn't done five minutes after you ordered it.
I cannot control the order in which the kitchen makes your food, and as much as I want your food to be at your table, I would rather make sure everything comes out right instead of uncooked.
4. I make $3 an hour.
After waiting on you hand-and-foot and doing one million things for you, your bill comes to $60 and you leave a $2 tip. You can just keep that. That won't even buy me a french fry.
5. I can't control the temperature in the room.
Yes, it gets hot. Yes, it gets cold. But fixing the room temperature is not my number one priority.
6. Stop sitting at my dirty tables.
I have five other tables that are identical to the dirty one you just sat at.
7. Don't wave at me.
I will be over. I will check on you. I will not abandon you.
8. Keep your kids under control.
I understand, they can't sit still for more than two minutes. But letting your kids run around while I'm carrying hot food really isn't the best idea.
9. I can't remember everything.
When you come and sit down and tell me you want the usual, I won't always remember what that is, so don't get so offended when I ask.
10. Please, stop in again.
No, seriously, I want to be busy—so come eat when I'm working again (but not 10 minutes before we are closing).
