We all know that there are really only two types of people: Introverts, and the worst people (also known as extroverts). As introverts, we know all of the world's secrets and we do not want to share them with you because that would mean that we would have to talk to you for longer than the allotted amount of time that we planned for at least twenty-four hours ago. Not only do we actually know the meaning of life, we know that there are a few things that we all have in common as the introverts of the earth, and here they are:
1. We don't enjoy confrontation, especially when it's actually kind of important.
We would prefer to either avoid the situation altogether or send a thoughtfully worded email about the situation if possible.
2. People aren't really our thing.
We can spend absurd amounts of time by ourselves and have more fun than all of you at your stupid house party.
3. We've devised ways to make as little conversation as possible.
If we bump into people that we know, you can generally assume that there's a file stored in our brain called "what to say whenever you bump into someone you know but you don't really want to talk."
4. We also have a plan for whenever you end up in a group of more people than you are interested in being near.
It's literally to just run away as fast as humanly possible.
5. But if we're really forced to make conversation, we typically try to steer it in one direction and one direction alone.
I can't talk to you about my many worldly experiences but I can certainly talk to you about the nine-season series I just finished on Netflix last week.
6. We're not the best about acting cool when forced into social situations.
We would just rather be in bed watching television and laughing at our own jokes.
7. We're pretty comfortable with our lifestyles.
Don't you ever tell us that we need to get out more, because you're wrong.
8. We have one best friend that we go everywhere with, and have forced them to accept that we will be going everywhere with them.
Although they're pretty cool with it because they're the only person we tell our hilarious jokes to.
9. Dating isn't our most successful category.
Which is ridiculous because we are the most lovable people you will ever meet.
10. Despite being awkward and not having the most people skills, we still pretty cool.
Introverts of the world, keep being you.
