Fun fact about Lamar University: We have the third largest Deaf Studies department in the U.S. Naturally, we attract many Deaf students from all over the state, as well as Deaf faculty. As a student at Lamar University in the Deaf Studies department, I interact with the Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing every day, yet it still shocks me when someone has no clue how to have a conversation with a Deaf person. I’ve heard horror stories from Deaf students here on campus about the behavior of other kids (and professors!) who don’t seem to realize that Deaf people are people too.
1. Don't refuse to take notes for them if they ask.
It is incredibly difficult to watch an interpreter and write at the same time: the second you look down, you are missing information. If the Deaf person is not using an interpreter, then they are probably focusing on the professor’s lips to try and get as much information as possible. Think about it: If you couldn’t hear the professor continue to give you the definition of a word while you are trying to write it down, you would miss half of the definition.
2. Don't talk to the interpreter instead of the Deaf person.
Have you ever had a friend be mad at you, and they talk to your friend instead of you? “Tell her that I said _____”. Remember how frustrating that got, and how petty it seemed? That’s what it’s like for a Deaf person when you ignore them and only talk to the interpreter. Also, the interpreter is there to facilitate communication, and make sure everyone understands everybody. Just talk normally, and face the Deaf person when you talk. The interpreter will do the heavy lifting.
3. Don't over exaggerate your speech when talking to a Deaf person.
If an interpreter isn’t around, you can still talk to them! Just face them head on, speak at a normal level and at your normal speed. Think about it: When you were learning to speak, did your parents over-enunciate everything and talk really loudly? Same goes for Deaf people. Their speech therapist is focused on helping them read speech at a normal speed and volume. Over-enunciating is not helpful, because they have no practice with that.
4. Don't make fun of their speech.
Seriously. Where are we, middle school? It’s just mean.
5. Don't exclude them from things.
Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing my Deaf friends discouraged because they are not invited to things by people they thought were their friends, just because the friends didn’t want to make extra accommodations. Deaf people are people too, and they want to be included just as much as you and me.
6. Don't ask them to teach you how to curse in sign language.
I get asked this All. The. Time. If you want to learn sign language, we would be happy to teach you. You’ll learn how to curse when you’re ready. If you continue to bug us, we will teach you how: just not the right signs. Think about how stupid you’re going to look signing “table” when you think it means something else.
7. Don't assume Deaf people are stupid or inferior to hearing people.
Deaf people are equally as successful as hearing people. There are so many instances of Deaf successes and Deaf leaders in the world. Their deafness is something that makes them unique, not inferior. Their ability to hear does not affect their intelligence. Period.
8. Don't expect them to want to change their deafness.
Just because someone is Deaf doesn't mean they wish they were hearing. There are so many benefits to being Deaf! Not only do you get to be a part of a unique culture, but those noisy neighbors next door that always play music at three in the morning? Not a problem. Also, being Deaf is a part of their identity. If being Deaf is part of who you are, why would you change that?
9. Don't say "Oh, it's nothing" when a Deaf person asks what's going on in a conversation.
Imagine you are sitting at a table with a group of friends. Someone says something that you don't quite catch, then the rest of the table bursts into laughter. When you ask your friend, "Wait, what did you say?", they answer, "Oh, it's nothing." or, "It wasn't important." It makes you feel like you are not important enough to get the punchline, or that you are a bother and they really don't want you there. Now imagine feeling that way all the time.
10. And finally, don't be afraid to ask questions.
If you have a question about how life as a Deaf person works, ask! If you want to know how Deaf people wake up in the morning when they can’t hear an alarm, or how they make phone calls or how they hear the doorbell ring, ask! As long as you say it in a respectful way, most Deaf people are willing to explain about their life. At the end, thank them for sharing that part of their life with you. Nothing goes farther than respect.
