It seems like almost every time I log onto any social media platform I see some new reason that women are getting shamed for. Sometimes it is men shaming women, but often it is other women shaming other women. In a time where race relations are running high, the last thing anyone needs is to be attacked over an opinion, a clothing or hair style, or just something silly. I am all about building people up. I will always be that person to give a compliment to a complete stranger if I really like their outfit, their smile, or whatever. It saddens me that some people are so self-obsessed that they would rather break other people down instead of building them up.
So, here's my list of things that women need to stop shaming other women for.
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1. Pumpkin Spice Lattes
Seriously? Since when did the like/dislike of a beverage become so important that you belittle others? Personally, I am more of a caramel macchiato girl, but you do you and enjoy that PSL hot or iced.
2. Their Reproductive Rights
Now I'm not going to start the political debate of pro choice vs. pro life, I just mean the choice to have children or to not. Can we stop pretending that being a mother makes you any more or less of a woman than those who don't? I applaud those selfless women who become mothers and those that are strong enough to make the decision not to. It is your right. And plus, every child needs that insanely cool Aunt who spoils them. Babies or not, everyone can get along! Travel the world, have lots of babies, love them and love yourself.
3. Dressing Like Twins
If I want to put on an identical outfit to one of my besties and hit the town I should be able to do so. I don't care if you see it as "childish", some of my best memories come from being dressed like my best friends or my 200+ sorority sisters. I will always love #twinning
4. Growing Roots vs. Spreading Your Wings
Some women get married right away and some want to see the world before they settle down, if they ever decide to settle at all. Marriage is beautiful and so is seeing the world.
5. Their "Number"
Your number is none of my business. It is none of anyone but you and your significant other's (if you even decide to tell them.) You can have had sex with 1-56 people, and as long as you are being responsible I don't see why anyone should care.
6. Their Clothes/Hair/Etc.
Long hair, short hair, wearing only dresses, wearing leggings as pants, shaving, not shaving, none of these are things that will negatively impact your life. I can dye my hair pink and still be professional. You can have tattoos and still be professional. Rock your style, no matter what it is.
7. Being A Girly-Girl vs. Being A Tomboy
For the love of all that is holy can a woman not enjoy anything?! I have seen the same women in dresses and heels look just as at home in the woods. Your clothing style does and choice of activities doesn't make you and better (or worse!) than anyone else.
8. Being In A Sorority
I do not pay for my friends. Being in a sorority has been one of the most positive influences in my life. They have been my shoulder to cry on, my rock when I need it, some of the smartest and most driven people I have ever met, and selfless. My sorority family is very tight, and I have made life-long friendships. If being in a sorority isn't for you then I 100% respect that decision. Just go with your heart and understand there is nothing wrong with the "other side" of the spectrum.
9. Snapchat Filters
PLEASE. This one is honestly the one that bothers me the most. What on God's green Earth does posting photos using Snapchat filters have to do with a girl being a "slut" or "basic"? Those filters make you look damn good, so post those selfies anytime you want! I love the filters and I honestly think they only enhance the beauty! Plus, it's just for fun!
10. Bodyshape
I know that this one is obvious and probably repetitive, but it hurts my heart when women attack other women due to their body shape. People struggle enough with their own inside voice telling them they aren't "good" enough. We don't need to help that voice. Feed the voice that promotes positive body image, whether you're skinny, curvy, or anywhere in between. Find friends that are silly with you and love you no matter what. Those are the best. The ones that will order pokey stix and chicken nuggets with you and don't have to impress. (Shoutout to the blonde brigade!)
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Women deal with enough trouble and stress in the home and workplace as it is, why do we spend our time tearing others down when it would be a much more productive society to build them up. It takes up a lot less space in your mind if you compliment women instead of thinking of ways to tear them down.
I challenge you to share this article with a positive vibe towards a woman you feel deserves a shoutout. Use the hashtag #ISupportAWomanWho so I can check out all the good things women are doing across the nation!
Thank you to all of the other women who already build each other up. Special thanks to my sorority at MIZZOU (SLAM ladies!) and all of my other friends who offered up their pictures for this article. Y'all are amazing!
