Finals are done, seniors have graduated and school is over. If you're human, or went to a small Christian university like I did, then it also means it's wedding season.
I graduated over a year ago, as did many of my friends and we've been to our fair share of weddings since then. I even had one of my own!
Recently, I had the pleasure of being a bridesmaid in my roommate's wedding to the man she's dated for six years (hooray for high school sweethearts!) and been engaged to for a little over a year.
I've been in weddings before, but this was my first time in a wedding as an already wife. Allow me to share with you a few things that happen when you're a married bridesmaid:
1. You don't worry about all the decorations and details because you know this day really isn't about them. It's about the bride and groom and their love. The only thing you're really worried about is whether the bride is happy or not.
2. For that matter, you could be asked to wear an old ten-pound flower sack and you'd be happy because you truly know the extent to which this day is not about you and you relish in it. You wanna pig out on hors d'oeuvres? Go for it. The photographer legitimately doesn't care.
3. You're the perfect bridesmaid (brides-matron?) because you've been there, done that. Even if you don't know a lot about what's supposed to be going on, you know not to ask the bride and stress her out so you seek out others who do know. You remember how crazy you got when someone asked you if the ribbon on the cake cutter looked just right and you're not about to inflict that on your friend right now.
4. You have the most fun along the way. You're not worried about looking good for the semi-attractive groomsmen who may or may not be into you. Your man is right beside you and you're happy to lean in close to him with vodka on your breath and whisper, "I just farted." (hysterical giggling on your part will follow)
5. When all the other bridesmaids are going bar hopping after the rehearsal dinner (where there was an open bar), you can be snuggling into bed with hubby getting ready for sexy time without really having to work for it. You also know that the man you're about to sleep with won't make things weird the next day. That is, unless he enjoys making things weird by announcing to everyone that you re-enacted your own wedding night.
6. When your friend starts freaking out because it's finally sunk in that she is a bride and she will be legally bound to this man who's starting to seem like a stranger, you can look her in the face and tell her to calm the frick down because everything will legit be okay. You can tell her that, while the anxiousness she's feeling now is real and it's scary, it will go away as soon as she sees her groom's face at the ceremony. In it's place will come feelings of joy and ridiculous happiness. She doesn't need to worry about whether or not he'll be there for her in a year because she already knows. She wouldn't be marrying him if she didn't, right?
7. When you're standing at the altar watching the bride and groom ugly cry because they're finally getting married, you can ugly cry right along with them because you know. You know what they're feeling, what they're looking forward to, and what's in store for them. You just know and that knowledge makes you ugly cry in empathy.
8. Because you know what's in store for them, you can also stand there and laugh at them (in your mind, of course) because you haven't mentioned all the gross, private, and shockingly unmentionable things that happen once you get close enough to someone to be too comfortable with them. Your friend doesn't know that her groom likes to clip his toenails, then use the computer without washing his hands? She'll know soon!
9. Even if your husband doesn't come to the wedding, you can stand by your friend at the ceremony and be in awe that such an old rite of passage as a wedding ceremony is still so fresh and relevant. You realize that traditions change over time, but the core principles of marriage and what it represents--especially in a Christian marriage--are powerful enough to transcend time and culture and be extremely meaningful to everyone who undertakes marriage today.
10. Finally, you get to go home with your husband and be reminded all over again of how incredibly awesome marriage is and how lucky you are to have found the one. You get to rejoice in the fact that your search is over and your adventures have begun with a life partner who will always be by your side.
