1. "What can YOU do for ME?"

Pretty much just ask "hey, can I substitute this?" or "can I make this vegetarian/vegan?" I'm a server, not a servant.

2. "Can I speak to a manager?"

Why? What is the issue? The manager is busy and will get upset if I bug them for you.

3. "How much longer for my food?"

Look to your left, now look to your right. See all the people around you? They also ordered food. Isn't it crazy how restaurants work like that? I'm not going to ask the kitchen because they work hard and I don't want to piss them off.

4. "Can I get a free refill?"

Basically asking for a free anything is obnoxious. Unless the menu says we serve free refills or there is some sort of promotion, you can assume that it will not be free.

5. "Our checks are going to be separate."

If you say this before I take your order, I'm going to be irritated. This statement doesn't matter until I actually go to get your check. Servers automatically separate the orders based on the seat, so you just have to let your server know how many people will be paying right before they print your bill.

6. "I was told there was a discount."

Cool. Who told you that? Your server knows the current discounts, and you obviously do too. So show me an ID card of some sort and show me why you a discount.

7. "What does that come with?"

Before you ask this question, read the description in the menu. It will most likely answer the question before I can.

8. "Okay, I'll try that."

You aren't doing me any favors by picking the item I described for you. Only order it if you think you will like it.

9. Don't try to order an alcoholic drink if you are under 21.

I will card you, and if you say "never mind," I will be talking to my manager and all the other servers in case you try again.

10. "I asked for no _____."

This only applies if I messed up. If I find out that you actually didn't tell me that, or if I know you didn't tell me that, I'm going to be irritated and assume that you just want me to feel bad and give you free stuff.

Final note: Please please please be nice and tip your servers. Think of them as the messenger and don't shoot them.