Growing up the child of a southern family, raised among miles of dirt roads, Georgia peaches, cut-off jeans, and cotton fields, I have definitely heard my share of southern
mommyisms. Anyone around a southern mother will quickly find out they are very opinionated and will likely hear one or more of the following idioms. Our southern women may have a unique way of communicating, but they’re really looking out for our best interest. They’re really meaning, we love y'all, God Bless your little heart muscle.
1. I brought you into to this world, I can take you out.
When a southern mama says this she never means harm. Rather a joke, meaning she carried you for 9 months and years after. If it were up to her you would stay home and watch the next episode of Law and Order. Really just meaning please don’t get in trouble or do anything to get anyone else in trouble.
2. Don’t forget what your knees are for.
Deeply rooted in Christianity, tons of families in the South attend church regularly — meaning you spent a lot of time saying your blessings before supper and bedtime. This is another tactic a Southern mother uses to keep her kids humble: Those knees are meant for sending thoughts and thanksgiving up to the heavens.
3. Nothin' good happens after midnight.
Though not all Southern mothers are concerned with protecting your Cinderella-esque virtue, they are concerned with safety. And if you went off to college — or you’re just visiting a Southern town you don’t know very well — you might have heard some words of caution. Though midnight might not be the precise cutoff point, haven’t you ever regretted those last-call tequila shots? Probably.
4. You can eat it or wear it.
You’re a picky eater. You don’t like asparagus, chicken, and green bean casserole. Your momma works hard and wants to make sure you eat a balanced meal. She may sometimes insist that you eat everything on your plate before you can leave the table. At times this should mean you are sitting at the table for a long time. Either until you eat up or your mother gives in. Either way, we’ve all heard it.
5. Y'all hurry up! We’re gonna be late for church.
Sunday morning getting ready for church, trying to get there on time, always seems to be a struggle. With the kids being slower than molasses getting dressed in their Sunday best, it seems to an unaccomplishable task to get there on time. Never fail, every Sunday, my mother would at least once, if not more, say hurry up we’re going be late for church.
6. You’re slower than molasses.
One of my favorites. You’re in a hurry, the children decide to be as slow as possible, getting showers, teeth brush, putting on clothes, getting dressed.
7. You’re gonna eat us out of house and home.
You get out of school for the summer. Days of sleeping late, hanging out with your friends and munching on anything you can get your hands on at your house. Within a few days, your mom starts to see the cupboard stash steadily disappearing and will begin to think that you and your friends are going to eat all of the food in the house. Hence, the saying.
8. Hunter, Jordan, Timmy, whatever your name is….
That moment your mom tries to yell out your name but she calls every other family members name before she gets to yours.
9. You can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip.
You can't get something from a person, especially money, that they don't have. So if you want something bad enough go out and earn it.
10. Just wait ‘til your daddy gets home.
If you’re so out of control and can’t be tamed, your Southern mother’s final threat is about your daddy, who, even though mama is pretty stern... he’s even stricter. This is when you quit the tears and close your door… softly. And wait to get it when daddy gets home.
