Where were you four years ago?

Did you see yourself here?

Were you about to try something new?

You were wrong, if you thought you were ready.

You still had no idea what you wanted to do with your life. But, if anyone asked you, you’d spout out some five-year plan that would end in a college degree, a salaried job doing that you love, and some sort of long-term domestic relationship; you had plans.

Sure, you were a freshman, back at the bottom of the totem pole, trying to figure out a huge college campus. You were scared and anxious about everything from finding your way to excelling in your classes.

I know what you’re feeling and I know what’s next. So, I want to tell you some things that will change the way you’re looking at life right now.

1. Leaving home is hard.

Of course, you’ve probably already figured this out and you’re wondering when you stop missing it. I know you feel a little stupid—after all, how long did you know you were going to be living on campus? You thought you knew what you were getting into, but you had no idea.

You didn’t know how much you’d miss your family; you never really had a chance to miss them before. You watched them drive away knowing they were close by, but not knowing when you would see them next. You were prepared for a gut-wrenching goodbye, but you didn’t know the effects would last this long.

Slowly, the realization sets in that you will never be “permanently home” again.

Sure, you’ll go home some weekends, and summers, but you’ll be staying in a room that bears little resemblance to the one you left behind and living out of suitcases while you’re there. The truth is: you will stop missing home, and that moment alone will hurt you all over again.

From the time you leave, homesickness will hit you in waves, but your family will always be a phone call or short visit away.

2. Socializing can be hard work.

It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling so anxiety riddled. You’re not used to it, because in high school, even the people you didn’t hang out with were people who you knew in passing.

Here? You don’t know anyone, and you’d rather sleep in your room by yourself in your free time than try and find someone to have awkward conversations with. One thing you will learn the hard way is that when it comes to making friends, you should always trust your instincts.

The fact that you’re in college does not automatically make everyone mature. You will have your beliefs tested, and you will fail in some aspects of those tests, but over time, you will learn how to stick to your guns.

Everyone’s telling you that this is the place where you make life-long friends who share the same values you do. You haven’t met these people yet, but don’t worry; you will.

In fact, one of your best friends is in Bloomsburg right now, so don’t worry. And when you’re ready to give up on people altogether, you will meet people who will go out of their way to be there for you. Don’t let them go.

3. The future is scary.

So what do you want to do with your life? Right now, you’re just trying to figure out the quickest way to graduate so you can get on with the rest of your life.

You don’t care about what happens later, as long as you can get out of this place so you might be able to be happy again. I know you’re worried about the time you have left; you feel like it's running out. If you don’t figure something out soon, you’ll be wasting money, time, or you’ll be stuck doing something you don’t want to do for the rest of your life.

So, what would make you happy? You don’t seem to be happy here, but you’re not sure if that’s because Millersville has nothing to offer you, or because of everything else that’s going on.

Maybe you should do what you’ve always wanted to do, and go to school to be a veterinarian; maybe you made a mistake. I know the kind of stress you’re under, and let me just say that you are exactly where you need to be.

Things have a way of working themselves out.

4. Your relationship with your family only gets better.

No, you didn’t have a bad home life, or divorced parents; but like a lot of people, you took your family for granted.

You sat in your room all day and watched T.V. instead of helping your Mom with something. Now, you have to schedule conversations with her in between work, classes, and everything else you have going on.

You used to think it was work to make the trip downstairs to talk with your dad when he got home from work. You’ll find out how much work it can be to make the six hour drive one way to Virginia so you can see him for a weekend.

In high school, you spent your days off of school hanging out with friends that you saw at school—yelling at your siblings to leave you alone. You will learn that you have two best friends in your brother and sister, and you’ll miss them like crazy when you’re away from home.

5. You actually do make amazing friends.

In fact, in college, you’ve found two best friends, who are incredibly similar to you. It will get worse before it gets better, but it gets so much better.

These friends are two of the most dependable, understanding, and hilarious people you’ve met thus far. Not to mention, you still have some old friends. One of your best friends has been your friend since first grade.

With the exception of a handful of people, you don’t really talk to many people from high school, and that’s OK with you.

And of course, you know Austin. You know him as your boyfriend of 2 years, the love of your life, and your getaway driver; I know him as my fiancé, my best friend, and one of my all-time favorite people.

You already know this, but Austin is the one person you can always count on; he always will be.

6. You will have so many accomplishments.

It’s no secret that you’re having a rough time at school right now.

Believe it or not, you come out of this stronger than ever.

You will continue to have ups and downs, but thanks to the hard times, the good times are so good.

You don’t know it right now, but you are the key to solving a lot of your problems; somehow, you learned how to acknowledge what you want, and not what others want for you.

Once you start thinking for yourself, nothing can stop you. One day, you might wake up and think, “I know what I’m doing”, which is a bigger feat than you can imagine.

These may not seem like big things, but they are probably the biggest you will have. Somehow, you’ve managed to be a better, more self-sufficient person than you could imagine.

7. I am you: about to graduate.

You made it! You can’t believe that you ever thought about doing something else or going anywhere else; you also blush at the childish notion that you could graduate on time (let alone early!).

Graduating later is to be expected with all of the things you put on your plate, interning being one of those things. Currently: you’re an intern at an audio engineering company. Do you even know what that is? The only downside to the internship is that it’s unpaid.

Don’t worry though, you have had plenty of jobs to help soften that blow. Right now, you have the first job you’ve ever had that you actually enjoy, and you deserve it.

Through all of your different jobs over the next four years, you’ll work with a bunch of people, most of whom you’ll be glad you met.

8. I am you: a youth leader for high school students.

Now I know you’re panicking because you can barely take care of yourself, let alone help high school sophomores with their lives.

You have become very involved with your church and volunteered to chaperone a youth group trip about a year ago.

It was all downhill from there, and you couldn’t be happier. You’ll be happy to know that none other than your fiancé, Austin, is a youth leader as well.

Together, you teach lessons about Christianity to these kids. On top of all of that, you get to help these amazing kids with life, which you know better than anyone, can be rough at times.

9. I am you: planning a wedding.

You are one of the lucky few who gets to marry their high school sweetheart.

Even as you’re reading this, you know you’ll marry Austin. It never mattered that you went to college and he got a job in a trade right out of high school; you were meant for each other.

He’s going to propose when you least expect it, and it will be much sooner than you’ve anticipated. Don’t worry; you’ll wait to get married until school is taken care of.

After five+ years, he’s still going to be one of your favorite people who is always there for you. He will answer every time you call him, crying. When it’s apparent you don’t even know why you’re crying anymore, he will sit at the other end of the phone and talk it out.

When you are fighting to stay happy and get back to your old self, he will fight with you. While you’re busy trying to make everyone else happy, Austin will be bending over backwards to try and make you happy; you are luckier than you realize.

10. Enjoy yourself.

This is the one piece of advice I want to give you.

Four years seems like no time at all in the grand scheme of your life, but I am a completely different person today than I was 4 years ago.

If I could have it to do over, I would stop wishing away all of my bad times and take that time to appreciate everyone who is in my corner. Don’t hold back; speak up when you feel like you should; you owe nothing to anyone you’re worrying over now.

Just stop worrying altogether and calm down.

If you take a step back, you will realize that you’re OK. Stressing out over what may or may not happen in your life is a good way to waste it. Also: you should know that no matter what happens, everyone who is important to you will still love you.

The best stories you will tell are experiences you’ve had. So take chances; a lot of things are outside of your comfort zone, and that’s not a good enough reason to avoid them.

Whatever you think you have to lose, you have so much more to gain.

You’re going to be OK.