Think of it this way: would you say that to someone with a physical problem? Here are 10 things people with mental illnesses are sick of hearing:

1. "You're too pretty to be depressed."

I wanted to start off by addressing this one because lately I have found myself and many of my friends hearing this ignorant statement a lot and it is part of what inspired me to write this article. Now, I know you may mean well if you tell me or any other depressed girl this because you want to be nice and compliment me, but you probably won't accomplish anything with it except pissing me off. First off, I don't need to look a certain way to validate my problems. Mental illness is just that, mental. You don't have to look a certain way to be depressed. Mental illness doesn't discriminate, it can affect people of all appearances, backgrounds, sizes, ages, races, genders, sexualities, etc. And second of all, are you implying that depressed people have a certain "look" about them and that you don't normally expect them to be attractive? I hope not, because that's really shitty.

2. "Oh yeah I definitely get how you feel, I have anxiety too because I get sooo nervous about tests", "I really get what your eating disorder is like, I skip breakfast sometimes", "I feel you, we all get sad sometimes" etc.

No. Stop. Just stop. Feeling sad or nervous or bad about yourself sometimes is not the same as having an actual condition that causes you to feel that way all the time. Don't try to sympathize with us and say you understand how our lives are if you actually don't. Do these problems you speak of affect you to the point where you have to attend counseling because you're genuinely not sure if you will survive school without it? Do you have physical papers stating that you have these problems you are talking about? Are you diagnosed with or taking medication for any of these issues you claim to have? No? Then stop telling us you "know what we're going through" because you really don't.

3. "Just get over it."

I can't even count how many times I've heard this one said to myself and many of my friends. So many people I know, like family members and even some of my friends who don't know what my life is like (and some of them who actually do know what it's like, which makes it even worse), have said things like this to me when I'm in situations that cause my anxiety to get really intense. Like really? You can actually look at somebody who has confided about these issues to you, that may be severe to the point where they are struggling to get by every day and even make it through seemingly simple tasks like showering and eating, and tell them with full expectation that they'll be able to take your advice, to just "get over it"? Newsflash: mental illnesses are real illnesses! They are called illnesses for a reason! They affect people just as badly as physical conditions do, just in different ways is all. Think of it this way: you wouldn't tell someone with cancer or in a wheelchair to get over themselves, would you? Just because you can't see an illness on someone doesn't mean they aren't struggling.

4. "You're not special, everyone has issues sometimes."

No duh we all have issues sometimes. No human being's life is absolutely perfect. That's impossible. But there's a difference between having issues come up occasionally and struggling with issues on a day to basis. By saying this you are trivializing mentally ill individuals. You're telling us our problems that we may struggle with constantly aren't valid or important just because everyone else in the world struggles with problems occasionally. Of course there are people in the world other than us who may be going through equally tough shit. We realize that, and we don't try to pretend like we have it worse than those people. If we're having an off day, we can't help that, so rather than try and get us to "suck it up" or tell us our problems aren't legitimate enough to be taken seriously, it will help more to just listen to and be patient with us.

5. That you're "so OCD" because you're a neat freak, you're "bipolar" because you get moody during your period, your favorite TV show "gave you PTSD" because it made you emotional, you're "totally depressed" because your dog died, etc.

Mental illnesses are not adjectives. Stop thinking you can describe your "weird" or "quirky" tendencies by using the names of conditions that actually mentally ill people suffer from. No, you do not have OCD because you are a neat freak or bipolar disorder because you get mood swings sometimes. The traits you may want to describe by attributing mental illnesses to yourself are actually perfectly normal traits for humans to have. It's normal to cry when someone dies or get emotional over a TV show. The truth is, if you actually had a mental illness such as any of these aforementioned ones, you wouldn't be getting worked up just over major occurrences that are normal for people to get worked up over-- you'd get worked up over things most people don't get worked up over. For mentally ill people, sometimes the seemingly simplest things can pose a great deal of difficulty for us-- things that no one else would understand. We don't just cry over people dying or sad movies, we can cry over anything from a text from a friend to stress over a homework assignment-- or we can have days where we don't cry at all because we don't feel anything at all except numbness.

6. "Really? But you seem so happy/funny/functional/energetic all the time!"

Breaking news: if you are mentally ill, you are never allowed to act happy or have a sense of humor, ever! In order for people to believe you have legitimate mental health problems, you must appear sad and gloomy and down in the dumps all the time. You work a full-time job or participate in a lot of extracurriculars at school or get good grades? Nope, there's no way you can possibly have a mental illness, because mentally ill people aren't capable of being successful, right?

Breaking news to any neurotypicals who may think this is an acceptable thing to say: High-functioning mentally ill people are a thing. People who are optimistic and mentally ill at the same time are a thing. I personally hear this one quite often, so I have a great deal of annoyance with it. Like, are you saying that just because I'm depressed and anxious and have learning disorders, means there's no way I can at the same time be a friendly and lighthearted person or do well in school or be involved in a lot of activities? Those are all characteristics that relate to personality or work ethic, whereas mental illnesses attribute to what goes on inside someone's mind. They have nothing to do with each other. Please learn the difference.

8. "Just try and get better, it's all up to you. You can choose to be happy."

Do you think we haven't tried? If struggling with mental health was a choice, can you honestly say you think we would be this way because we want to? Believe me, I personally wouldn't. I do want to get better. That's why I go to therapy (and went to my guidance counselors constantly in middle and high school, which was basically the closest thing I had to therapy back then). That's why we have treatment for mental illnesses such as that as well as medications and support groups. But you can't just assume it's in our control like that. We know people with physical health issues can't just choose to make their problems go away. That's not how it works for mental health either.

9. "Stop being so lazy."

...Stop being so ignorant.

Sometimes mentally ill people struggle to just get by day to day, and you have the gall to say we're lazy for not measuring up to your standards? It doesn't help that many of us might already feel bad about ourselves for being lazy because we can't get simple tasks done. What seems like basic daily activities to neurotypicals, like cleaning or cooking or doing laundry, can take a great deal of energy for mentally ill people on some days. It doesn't mean we're lazy, it means we're going through a period where our issues are getting the best of us. The truth is, if you're a mentally ill individual who is going through a rough time like this and you managed to do so much as get out of bed or go to class/work today, you're not lazy, you're fucking strong and I'm proud of you for making it that far no matter what it took. Because I know how much of a struggle just waking up and pulling yourself together can be.

10. "What do you have to be so worked up about? Your life is pretty good, you should be grateful for what you have."

So it's true that many people develop mental illnesses as a result of traumatic experiences in their lives. But it's also true that people can just develop mental illnesses without any particular background behind them, because mental illnesses are illnesses and can target absolutely anyone, just like physical ones. People don't need a "reason" for being mentally ill. It just happens. I know people who developed their illnesses after major events like family member deaths or being abused but I also know people who developed them even if they are rich, grew up with a lot of money, had a successful career path, had decent relationships with their families, or otherwise had a seemingly "good" life. To repeat what I said at the very beginning... mental illness does not discriminate. Just look at Robin Williams.